Derober

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Photo courtesy of enews.com

At the 2007 Emmies, Ellen Pompeo displayed her secret to keeping such a slender figure–she conjures lightning bolts straight into her ass. She looks creepy though. I mean have you seen that hair? It’s like a cross between Beethoven, Amadeus, and Marve from the ‘Home Alone’ series. Just awkward.

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…but 50 Cent wins the staring contest. We are all now uncomfortable for witnessing this.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

But the Derober X-ray machine doesn’t quite agree. I mean it’s one thing that Britney is on drugs, but a whole fish, bones and all–just sick. Oh Britney, if only you hadn’t gone fucking insane none of this ever would’ve happened to you.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

As I stood staring at this picture in a stupor, trying to figure out what to say I realized…no words are necessary. What do you guys think?.

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Photo courtesy of enews.com

And Death took notice. That’s right, the sunniest smile in the world hosted the 2007 Emmies last night and we couldn’t help but take our finger and jam it as far down our throats to purge ourselves of this hay nous act. I mean while we’re at it why don’t we have Whoopi Goldberg host the Academy Awards…oh, she did that? Oh, what the Hell is the world coming too. I might have to jam two more fingers into my eye-sockets cause this shit retarded.

In recent light of the massive shout out Ryan Seacrest gave to our website on E! News, I would like to say that Mr. Seacrest is one of the few great talents working in Hollywood today. And though nothing says ‘I love you’ like the shadow of Death trailing you, I would like to point out that I’ve always been fond of the Grim Reaper. In fact, that was my Halloween costume 5 years straight…all those many years ago. Thanks Ryan, you’re a true professional. And on a side note, I loved you in Knocked Up.

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