Derober

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Photo courtesy of wireimage.com

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
This week while speaking for the Tupperware’s Chain of Confidence program, a campaign that encourages women and young girls to celebrate the bonds of female friendships, Brooke Shields spoke out about driving a car into her own house. She laughs, “I really did drive into my house. I was wearing these fabulous sort of kick-ass platform patent leather… I was all sexed out.” As for why she ran into the house, she exclaims, “I slowed down to what I thought was a proper speed… I went to go put my foot on the break and I couldn’t get my foot off the gas because the wedge was completely wedged under.” She adds, “I slammed on what I thought was the brake and it actually was the gas!”

Shields hit a pillar. She says, “I was fine. The pillar, of course, was removed at which point I was like we didn’t really need that, that’s just in the way.”

Well well, you hear that ladies, if you want to feel empowered, and driving into houses is kinda your thing, then Brooke Shields is the the nut job for you.

John:
Bob, Brooke Shields is not a nut job, she’s an icon. How funny was she in that one sitcom? Hysterical. And then there was that movie on the island, remember? And the other stuff. Classics all. Bob, just please stop talking. You’re making an ass of yourself.

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In keeping with the theme that any big major media release gets leaked, Kim Kardashian’s Playboy spread found it’s way out of Hefner’s safe. Playboy is quickly pretending to clean up all the photos floating around the net. Unfortunately, The Derobers had to remove these shittious photos, but we can assure the drooling public that they are a huge disappointment. So do yourself a favor and don’t buy this magazine.
Kim, who was just finishing her shift at the Spearmint Rhino, had no comment about the leak, but did offer sexual favors for a ride home. A TMZ cameraman jumped at the chance.

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Photo courtesy of wireimage.com

Bob ‘The Bitch’ says:
According to the Italian Media Angelina Jolie is pregnant again. No shit, sorry Brad. You admitted you wanted to be a father, little did you know when you signed up to be the father of Angelina’s children you would be running a day-care clinic. Watch out for boobie traps and always keep your hands firmly cupped around your testicles, because if this kid turns out to be anything like her mother than she’s bound to be a demonic spawn who cuts herself. Definitely, not to be trusted.

John:
Bob, what’s the weather like on fantasy island? I’ll bet it’s sunny and warm. Have you seen Anglelina lately? She’s so thin I don’t know what I’m looking at half the time. The baby would have to carry Angelina around. Don’t know how this load of crap made it from Italy to here. But leave it to Bob to believe any of it.

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John:
Who said men age gracefully? I can’t wait to see ‘Entourage’ in high-def. Nobody in Hollywood is safe from a good derobing, even our favorite agent, Ari Gold.

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Screenshot courtesy of wwtdd.com
Leo:
Teri Hatcher attended the Dream Holloween Party for Children Affected by AIDS dressed as the scariest Queen of Hearts ever. Let’s just hope there were no children at this event. Not only do these kids have to deal with AIDS, now they have to deal with a psycho story book villain who’s famous lines include, “Off with their heads!” and umm “Off with their heads!”. Have no fear kids, the Derobers turned the tables on this wicked bitch. Sleep tight.

John:
Love Teri Hatcher, love ‘Housewives‘, love wicked bitches, love bags of flaming poo, but only on Wednesdays.

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