Derober

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com
Dee:
Kathy Griffin towed her new boy-toy over to the Media Honors party in LA last night. His name is Steve Wozniak, and he was one of the co-founders of Apple. Wow.

John:
Are you sure he wasn’t the co-founder of Chicken-Pot-Pies? Or possibly the co-founder of cholesterol. Apple huh? Maybe he co-founded candy apples.

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Photos courtesy of www.wwtdd.com.com

Dee:
Britney Spears latest excuse as to why she failed her last drug test was claimed to be,

“The drugs I am on made me fail the drug test”

Her (fake) friends and (zoo) handlers claim that her prescription of Provigil – used to treat her narcolepsy – made her bomb the test.

Leo:
Ooooohhhhhh, OK. Just like the snozberries taste like snozberries.

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Photo courtesy of thesuperficial.com

Dee:
Well, I don’t have much to say about this one but I’m sure the boys will. A whole slew of Victoria Secret models, including Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima landed in L.A. today. I can’t help but feel that the style in which these photographs were taken were in some way inspired by the landing of The Beatles in New York all those years ago.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Honestly, I don’t know where they came from (all initial signs point towards Heaven) but I can’t help but feel that this moment in time will be immortalized in my own ‘cave-man-ic’ mind for years to come. I mean, not to knock on The Beatles (ya know, greatest band ever) but I think these women conjure up some of the same emotions in me that The Beatles did to women when they played for Ed Sullivan. And I’m not ashamed to admit that.

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com

Dee:
Jessica Alba wants desperately to trade in her sex symbol status for a brand new pair of tough and smart. What exactly do I mean, in an interview the 26-year-old actress admits she would prefer to win a man’s heart with her fists rather than her looks:

I’d rather slay a guy with my fists than knock him out with the way I look. I know people like what they see and I’m totally happy to dress up and look sexy but I just see it as playing a part. “Underneath I’d prefer to be known for something else, like being tough or being smart. It makes me feel more confident to know I can hold my own in a fight than it does to look in the mirror and think I look beautiful.”

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Jessica wants to play the ‘look at me, I’m sophisticated’ card, huh. Well…good luck with that. I’m sure it will work out seeing as guys go to your movies for your cunning wit and ‘fists’. So I say, knock yourself out girl; in a few more years you’ll come crawling back to reclaim your sex-symbol status…but, who knows, the public might never give it back.

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Dee:
Kelly Clarkson played a sold-out concert at the Paramount Theater in Seattle tonight. And Bill Gates was there! According to one spy-witness who calls herself DaTroubleWitLuv, Bill was rocking out to Kelly:

“it was super funny seeing him dance to miss independent. i wish i had my camera.
i was thinking “dont you think he’d have better seats?”
he was up in the balcony, but then i noticed they had back stage passes too… then i was jealous.”

Dee:
One lovely girl, jayjo516, posted an exclusive pic (below) on The Kelly Clarkson Express. Speaking of Kelly Clarkson Express, I heard from a friend of mine that those awesome girls are really juicing up the site trying to pry Jonny-boy’s story out of him. For those who don’t know, John (the Derober) loves Kelly and actually had a chance to tell her how he really feels about her in person AND BLEW IT! If we get a thousand votes, he’ll tell the story. For excerpts of the story and to vote, click here.

John:
Believe me, I’m flattered that people are taking my side in this, but I’m terrified to tell the story. I’ll do it. I really will. But not one second before the clock strikes midnight on a thousand votes. These ‘Express Girls’ are putting a smile on my face and making me very nervous at the same time.

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