Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
For those of you who wake up most mornings and wonder what I do, ‘Does Brooke Hogan where a jock-strap?’, I’m here to re-assure you that you’re not alone. Maybe it’s the wide jaw with the dimpled chin. Or possibly the thick heavy-set thighs made for crushing garbage cans. Or quite possibly it could be that she’s actually a man. But whatever truth lies behind those eyes, she’ll always be ugly to me.

Dee:
Bob, first let me start by saying you’re an ass. And if you ever had a chance with Brooke Hogan (which you wouldn’t) you’d take it in a second. And though I normally get a kick out of your childish sense of humor, you crossed the line with the ‘man’ thing. Shame on you. Next time, don’t make fun of a person (or an object) you desperately need, no matter how ugly they are.

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Photo courtesy of buzzfoto.com
Dee:
Derober’s John is itching to comment. Before he does, let me say that we all know John Mayer is strait and having some fun with the paps on his way to Butter in NY.

John:
Somewhere, thousands of young girls in John Mayer’s fan club are feeling betrayed. They are tearing their old ticket stubs out of their journals and throwing them away. I always knew this guy was queer as a football bat. Not that there is anything wrong with that. My roommate is a football bat. But his addiction to young Philipino boys is finally rearing its ugly head. Have a good cry, girls. Get it all out.

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more at twiigs.com…

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Photo courtesy of x17online.com.com

Dee:
Legally rich star, Reese Witherspoon, strolled down Beverly Hills last weekend leaving the Neil George Salon with son Deacon close behind. What we’re wondering, Reesy darling, is if you have the cutest face in the world why would you cover it under that rediculous hat??

Bob ‘The Bitch’
The thoughts that popped into my head when I first saw this picture–in sequential order: 1) What the hell 2) Who is that, Kung Lao (from Mortal Combat, anyone…) 3) No, no maybe it’s one of the Olson’s 4) Are they impersonating Michael Jackson 5) Should I photoshop putting something into her throat?? 6) No, I’ll just be nice and reveal how Reese Witherspoon should’ve looked.

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Photo courtesy of gqmag.com
Dee:
Hayden Panettiere has been name GQ Magazine’s ‘obsession of the year.’ Keep in mind, for the first half of this year, Hay-Hay was only 17 years old. Just FYI.

John:
An open letter to GQ:
I want to thank the editor of GQ, Dylan Jones, for his bold vision. Deputy Editor Bill Prince for his support of Dylan. I’d also like to thank the photographer…God, I can’t remember his name I’m all nervous. The GQ staff, interns, your work is so valuable. I know I’m forgetting somebody. Oh, Hayden! Thank you Hay-Hay for making the first part of this year so dangerously wonderful.

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com

Dee:
This one’s for the guys. Victoria’s Secret supermodel, Marisa Miller poses for a photo shoot. Women just don’t deserve to look that good.

Bob ‘The Bitch’
This woman’s ass could heat toast. Walls protrude when she walks by. Studies have shown that Marissa Miller has never, and will never have to work another day in her life. If I saw her, I would be a deer caught in the headlights. Puddy in her hands, a canvas for her art. Ok, that’s enough visuals for one post.

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