Derober

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Photo courtesy of wireimages.com
Dee:
Avril Lavigne showed up at the AMA’s looking exactly like the white-trash youths I saw last weekend at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Judging by those raccoon eyes, I’m guessing she has heard of makeup. I think she might have missed a spot in the neck area. That’s the place where her husband attached his mouth like a Hoover vacuum during the limo ride. Classy.

John:
Dee! Who crapped in your Cheerios this morning? It is true that if Avril painted her face gold and stood really still, she could make $50 a day in Times Square, easy. But who really cares? It could be a birth mark. If not, Get some, Avril!

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

Dee:
Everyone’s favorite Hero, Hayden Panettiere, was a guest at the Big Apple Comic Book, Art, Toy and Sci-Fi Expo in New York City last Saturday. As Always, Hayden put on her devilish charm and her trademark smile for the losers–fans of Star Wars. I can only imagine how bad these people must smell in the costumes.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there Dee. You’re just jealous of John, mine, and Leo’s fun childhood. Star Wars is not just exclusive to dorks, it was entertaining across generations all around the world. And especially for a couple of guys from Indiana, you should know that we had to make do and get fun out of anything we could; and Star Wars most certainly was a part of that. From what I remember, your parents kept you locked up in a dark hole somewhere in your basement and the only Birthday present they ever gave you was an extra slab of ribs (animal undisclosed) and a side of ranch. The force is not strong with you, Dee.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com
Photo courtesy of exposay.com

Dee:
In case anyone out there has ever been insecure about how they looked and wished ‘If I could only look like so and so celebrity, I’d be beautiful,’ this post is for you. It is important to remember that all celebrities came from somewhere and that getting the Hollywood ‘Star-Treatment’ is likely the main reason they look perfect and magnificent in every photo. So don’t be discouraged about your appearance, as there’s always room for improvement throughout your life.
Just look at Amy Winehouse in her teenage years. Does she look like someone you’d say ‘One day she’ll be famous’? Didn’t think so, and I bet Amy was more than a little insecure herself.

Bob ‘The Bitch’
In all honesty, Elvira is still disgusting…and that’s all I have to say about that.

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Dee:
Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested at Dublin Airport for being drunk as balls. This is somewhat of an accomplishment for the Tudors actor considering most Irish folk are drunk 24/7 and don’t get arrested. If this were the case, all of Ireland would be in the drunk-tank…and who would make the Jamison and Guiness if everyone was in jail?

Leo:
C’mon Dee, what a horrible stereotype….all Irish are drunks -my ass. I’m Irish and I only have a slight buzz right now while typing this articlsdlkgj;lfboobsgkjsfads;kjfsfjairhgideadunicornsuiuiuiui ukjfdsiuqwpoevm;lueiq7rhgaddarbygunpowderzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Dee:
Carrie Underwood showed up at the AMA’s looking good. But how good did she look? Is the just a bit too thin? Does she look too much like Bjork? You decide.

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Dee:
We are getting some great ideas on how John can get a date with Kelly. I must say, some of the ideas are really amazing. So much so that we’re going to post the best ideas on the site with a Derobed picture. ‘Restless’ came up with the idea that people should bring signs to a Kelly concert! Imagine Kelly looking out on a sea of people holding ‘Date John’ signs. Lol. That would just be hilarious. We’ve also heard some girls are planning to print up John’s story and deliver it to Kelly during a meet-and-greet (thread courtesy of bixblitz). So good! Believe me, he really is a gentleman. He walks me to my car everyday when we leave work. Who does that? Really.

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John:
Stacy221 at Sodahead writes that, in order to date Kelly, I should, “Become the best person you can.” And, you know what, she’s right. Just because people vote you ‘Kelly-worthy’ doesn’t make it so. I doubt Kelly’s fans want to see her with an idiot (much less Kelly herself). Starting today, I’m holding myself to a higher standard. I’m actually going to try to be a better person. I know it doesn’t happen overnight. Baby steps. Everyday, I’m going to learn a new skill. And today is platform diving. It’s going to be painful… because I’m going to suck at it.

But keep the comments and suggestions coming. Thanks again for the suggestions. Honestly, I’m reading a book tonight and I have no idea how long it’s been since I did that. Whether I get the date or not, when they close the book on this story, at least i’ll have something good to show for it as a person.
To vote or comment on the polls, click here.
For John’s original meeting with Kelly, click here.

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