Derober

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Dee:
Happy New Years! We’re wasted! Bob is hitting on me like he has a prayer. John and Leo can shoot whiskey like urban cowboys, and we want to wish everybody a great ‘08. Now, I need 2 find the fckn spell checkr’ thingy.

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Dee:
Yep, Lohan banged Italy for New Years. Lohan had Italian boys for breakfast, lunch, brunch, and dinner. No foolies. Below is the story according to The Sun titled, ‘Lindsay Lohan has 3 Italians in a Day!’ Continue Reading: Now guess who Lindsay Lohan dated for New Years.

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Dee:
This just in, according to People Magazine Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia are dating. This also just in, the sky is blue. It’s funny because people had their heads buried so far up their asses they couldn’t tell if the sky was actually blue or a muddy-brown color. However, thanks to People magazine it has been confirmed that the sky is in fact blue. Thanks People magazine, what would we ever do without you??

Bob ‘The Bitch’
In a related story the people at Derober have just discovered that Dee is being sarcastic. Yep…it’s sarcasm.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com.
Dee:
It’s official, late night talk show host and friend to the working man, Dave Letterman, has reached an agreement with the writer’s guild. As a member of the WGA himself and the owner and producer of his own show he was able to negotiate an independent contract with the WGA. In addition, Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno are also expected to return to television this January 2…but without a writing staff. Good luck to all three in ‘08!

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Conan and Jay are going to do the show without a writing staff? Are you kidding me, that’s like rowing without a paddle, basting without a turkey, jerking without a hand. And lets remember that a wookie on Endor does NOT make sense!! But hats off to Dave for not only paying his writing staff’s salary for months, but for reaching an agreement with them as well.

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Continue Reading: Guess who’s NOT going to prison…

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Dee:
…and I think we all know about the first one she earned. Lindsay is being honored at the Capri Film Festival. We looked it up and it turns out Carpi is a small town on Fantasy Island. The island’s slogan is ‘Fantasy Island: Where Absolutely Anything is Possible. American Express Welcome.’ Its neighbor island to the north, Neverland, sends Lindsay their best wishes.

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David Schwimmer can’t commit to a woman. (Ayyyy)

Vanessa Minnillo goes shopping in Bel Air (Daily Stab)

Watch the Harold and Kumar trailer! (poponpop)

John Mayor loves the word ‘Douchebag’ (bedhead)

Spencer Pratt offered gay porn role (Gabby Babble)

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