Derober

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Dee:
Let’s get back to tipping stories that actually happened. This one was sent to us from Tim.
Place: James Beach (for LA’s trendy West-siders. Very cougar friendly)
Location: Venice, CA

“Last Sunday, Luke Wilson came in with a group of friends on a Sunday afternoon. They were all drinking at the bar and having appetizers. I asked Luke,
“Do you want to start a tab. Who will be paying?”
Luke sorta’ grinned and said jokingly,
“Probably me.”
Toward the end of brunch, one of the couples they were with ended up paying the check at the bar without anybody noticing. Luke walked up to me a few minutes later and asked me for the check. I told him his friends had already paid and he laughed.
“No shit, how much did they leave you?”
“$65″ (a really good tip btw)
Luke pulled out two more twenty dollar bills and gave them to me. Very cool. Sunday is our slowest day. I can’t remember the last time I made out with a hundred bucks total much less from one group. Thanks Luke!”

If you’d like more true stories about celebrity tips from the waiter’s mouths themselves, check out our celebrity gratuity page.

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Dee:
It looks like it’s just me reporting this one. John and Leo are in their bedrooms sobbing quietly and throwing away all their Alba memorabilia. The rumors are true, People is reporting that Jessica Alba and Cash Warren are going to have a lil’ tot. The boo is due in late spring or early summer. We wish them the best of luck and a healthy child (John just nodded his head in agreement.) Derober has obtained an exclusive photo of the conception. Click on the thumb above for all the action.

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Dee:
A rumor has surfaced that a French producer (chemically unbalanced) wants Britney Spears to star as the Virgin Mary herself in a new satire called Sweet Baby Jesus. Britney is currently reviewing the script (making crayon doodles), as the film is slated to start in March. According to Us Weekly:

“Spears, 26, would play a pregnant 19-year-old unsure of her baby’s paternity who goes into labor on Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, Maryland, as rumors swirl that the birth is Jesus Christ’s second coming.”

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I’m completely at ease with this. After all, Britney Spears playing the Virgin Mary is only slightly worse than adding plutonium to a hydrogen bomb…wait…..my dear Lord……..the woman must be stopped.

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Dee:
If Brit swiped this lighter in Iran, it would have been a whole nother story….too bad.
Unfortunately the owner of the gas station is not pressing charges for Britney’s lighter heist. The year is almost over and A Britney Spears’ mugshot would have put the cherry on top of a crazy year of celebrity arrests. According to SFGate.com, the story goes a little something like this:

“The singer, 26, had stopped at Chevron in Sherman Oaks, Calif., on Friday, when she grabbed the item on her way out of the store.

When alerted to her mistake by one of the paparazzi, Spears retorted: “I stole something. Oh, I’m bad!”

And despite her apparent confession, Chevron owner Jatinder Kaur is not planning to contact authorities over the issue.

He tells People.com, “Yes, Britney stole a blue lighter here last night. The lighter is $1.39. I’m hoping maybe the next time she comes back she will pay for it.”

Leo:
To make matters worse, Britney has a mystery illness which prevented her from making her court-ordered deposition early this morning. The real victims in all this are Britney’s two children. So sad.

more at twiigs.com…

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Photo courtesy of pagesix.com
Dee:
Amazing. Paris Hilton follows up her time spent in prison for a DUI by posing for Prosecco Spirits. The American institution that is Page Six is reporting that Paris will be in Berlin tomorrow to promote the canned champaign (see photo)!
John:
I’m quoting Paris’ interview with Larry King here:

“No.” Asked if she was a big drinker, Hilton told King, “I’m not really into it. I think socially people do sometimes when they go out, but it’s not something that I really care about.”

She sure as shit cares about it when there’s money on the line. I don’t want to bash her too much because that is me in the photo above pleasing her. But she went on in the interview to describe how she wanted to turn her life around and help those less fortunate (get drunk), maybe build some schools (distilleries) for the underprivileged. Who knows? Only time will tell I guess.

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