Derober

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Photo courtesy of evilbeetgossip.com.

Dee:
For those of you Beatles loving / Heather Mills hating people out there, this story is sure to make you happy. Apparently the money-grubbing whore might have a lawsuit against herself for a change. Her former lawyers have threatened to sue her if she doesn’t pay them their legal bills, which they say are well overdue. The total bill after tax for Heather…$4 million! Oops Heather, you may have spread yourself a little thin on this whole ordeal.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Here’s an idea Heather, don’t F with a Beatle. It’s like trying to sue the pope. I tried it once and now I’m going to Hell. By the way, now might be a good time to take Paul’s settlement offer.

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Dee:
We were told that, during this shoot, Katherine did more smoking than shooting. She’d slip out the back door with her little dog and Hoover up another fag… That came out wrong.

John:
I don’t care if Katherine uses my belly button for an ashtray. If you’re looking to spark an anti-smoking crusade, Dee, use present-day Elizabeth Taylor or something. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to run to the gas station. A sexy young wildcat just told me all the Kool kids smoke.

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Place: Irish Haven (a dive bar if there ever was one)
Location: NY, 4th and 58th St.

Leonardo DiCaprio can party harder than you. Here is the story:

“I’m a regular at Irish Haven (it’s the last place on planet earth you can still get Schaefer beer.) Last weekend Leo and his buddy show up. Everybody pretended not to care but the cell phones were out, believe me. Within an hour, a crowd shows up and i figure the big star’s gonna’ split but he doesn’t. Instead he just starts buying jager bombs for people. No shit. Guy must have bought 10 rounds. I guess he’s been there before because some people couldn’t get the pool table to spit out the balls and he yelled to them, ‘you gotta shake that one.’ He was cool to everybody. I can’t tell you exactly what he tipped but he’d hand the bartender big bills ($20 and $50’s) and tell him to keep it every time. I left the bar at 4 am and Leo was still there. One of my boys said he stayed until 7 but I don’t know if that’s true. If it is, I guess he isnt such the pussy I thought.”

Thanks Joe! For more star tipping (or lack of), check out our celebrity gratuity page.

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Dee:
Britney Spears is firing back at K-Fed. Life and Style is reporting that Britney is accusing Federline of smoking marijuana around her two kids, Jayden and Sean-Preston. Didn’t Life and Style used to be the magazine my mother read when she needed an apple pie recipe? Anyway, Britney wants the children tested for drugs:

“Britney believes Kevin’s been smoking pot in front of the kids,” says a friend of hers. “She says she can smell it in the boys’ hair and on their clothes when she has her visitation with them.”

John:
Let me save you the test. K-Fed is smoking pot around his kids, the neighbors kids, the nanny and her kids, his chauffeur, and the chauffeur’s kid (who’s a little ’special’). That said, this accusation will never hold water. Britney is the one with only partial visitation rights because of her documented drug use and failed drug tests. Don’t throw stones in glass houses, Brit. You’re making your children into pawns instead of making yourself a better person. The judge might test the kids, but the blame is going to fall right back on you, tubby.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
In one corner we have the queen of Belgian waffles in Scarlett “Don’t Touch Me” Johansson (courtesy of Belgium’s Elle Magazine). And in the other corner we have the Empress of sexy in Japan in Megan “Leather Suits Me” Fox (courtesy of Japan’s Rolling Stone Magazine). Let the games begin.

more at twiigs.com…

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