Is Katie Holmes contractually obligated to Tom Cruise??

~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~

US magazine has just reported that the author of the new book Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography has released some startling information regarding Tom Cruise and wife, Katie Holmes. According to author Andrew Morton, prior to marriage Katie Holmes signed a contract to commit to scientology and her father brokered an elaborate high-paying pre-nup. What kind of pre-nup? According to Morton, for every year Katie Holmes stays married to Tom she will make 3 million dollars. But this comes at the price of letting Scientologists have, “full control over her life,” claims Morton. I don’t know if this is true or not, but if it is then it proves my theory that there is no point attending college when you can start your own religion. Seriously, all it takes is one rich asshole like Tom to believe in you and you’re set for life. Just sayin’.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I formed a religion once, but every time I turned the lights back on the ladies were nowhere to be found. My clown suit hasn’t been used since. Another reminder of my failed childhood.

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