Scientology: Defined

By now, you’ve seen the Tom Cruise Scientology Indoctrination Video. It’s Tom’s career Katrina. But unless you’re a member of the cult of Scientology, understanding the lingo Tom uses in the video to describe the cult is impossible. The Derobers have put together an abridged version of the cult’s video complete with steaming definitions of Cruise’s Scientologese. You will find this video nowhere else. Enjoy Scientology: Defined. (Oh, and digg the shit out of this. We want everyone on this planet to know exactly how crazy Cruise is.)

and if youtube takes theirs down, we have you covered. just watch the one below!



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Comments (28) “Scientology: Defined”

jannabethJanuary 18, 2008 @ 10:49 am

there are no words for how brilliant u people are. my guess is it was all Dee! u go girl!

FiloJanuary 18, 2008 @ 10:53 am

Fucking awesome. i was wondering what he was talking about?

MaryLUCJanuary 18, 2008 @ 10:53 am

O.K. so what. you can’t prove all these facts are accurate.

RON4PrezJanuary 18, 2008 @ 10:54 am

Mary, all these facts are accurate.

rayJanuary 18, 2008 @ 10:59 am

I’m joining the dark side. It seems they are the only ones who help, and I feel worthless. Plus, I loved Aliens the movie

marky markJanuary 18, 2008 @ 11:04 am

After watching this video, I’m going to join and meet elvis

marky mark
Double-you tee effJanuary 18, 2008 @ 12:08 pm

I knew he was a fruitcake, but holy carp. SP’s will only be read about in history books. Right on Mav, as long as you pay my way thru the ranks of LRH’s scheme, I mean religion.

KoryJanuary 19, 2008 @ 1:50 pm

Im convinced now that Tom must have some sort of deal with the Scientologists where they pay him to spew this garbage, either that or he really is that much of a L. Ron fan boy.

stzaJanuary 19, 2008 @ 2:37 pm

MaryLUC: “O.K. so what. you can’t prove all these facts are accurate.”

STFU Mary, you damn scientologist. Even if a number was off, it is easy to see that Tom Cruise is a dumbass jackhole asshat who is completely out of his fucking skull.

TomJanuary 19, 2008 @ 3:53 pm

What about Jesus? I get a cold chill sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realize what the devil has done to his arrogant hollywood mind. Christ was humble and his message trumps the fake pseudo scifi weirdness that this creep is devoting his life to. How many souls will he deliver into the gates of hell?

Live CrazyJanuary 19, 2008 @ 10:15 pm

Whatever stops the screaming at night dude…

WriterWriterJanuary 19, 2008 @ 10:31 pm


Subjecting anyone to this crap (religion of any type, but this garbage in particular) is abuse and should be actionable.

Does it not occur to Mr. Cruise (funny name for someone everyone knows is gay) that he’s been duped into being a player in a live rendition of a fantasy novel?

Hubbard was pissed that he never had the recognition (which would have required brains and logic) of Asimov and Bradbury, so brought his novel to life.

At least it gives crappy, out of work actors something else to pretend.


[…] read more | digg story […]

PlatypusFanJanuary 20, 2008 @ 3:43 am

Whacked.. and YES this is all true.

Just go to any of the $cientology sites out there not run by the cult (like and read up on it. Read the stories of ex-members, the facts about LRH. The mysterious deaths. The more you know, the scarier it gets.

I have a bit of a morbid interest in cults.. Manson, Jonestown, Jehovas, you name it.. But none freak me out more than Scientology. Get informed, folks.

GrigoriJanuary 20, 2008 @ 4:30 am

Like PlatypusFan I too have a morbid interest in cults. Scientology fascinates me. I have read practically all the online literature about them and the OT levels. (Hubbard is so fucking melodramatic. In one of his hallucinations, OTIII I think, he says he almost died getting “the information” to bring it back to us.)

Make no mistake, scientology is fucking nuts and Hubbard was insane, but people will still pay to be in it! And I wouldn’t like to get on their bad side. South Park was VERY brave to put out that episode.

[…] ese culto sólo por abajo de David Miscavige. ¿Que hará Katie Holmes con ese fenómeno? Ahora en el video de referencia el Sr. Holmes nos habla de lo que la doctrina significa para el mundo y las responsabilidades de […]

johnJanuary 21, 2008 @ 4:59 pm

What a crock! The only reply it deserves!

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