Derober

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Photo by X17
Dee:
After court yesterday, Britney went to the Little Brown Church in the Valley. Paparazzi followed her in and even stole the note she scribbled to Jesus. It read, “God Bless Me” for anybody who cares.
John:
Wait. I thought church was like base or something. That’s where you go during a war and call “Base!” and you’re safe. Arnold Schwarzenegger goes to Saint Monica’s down the road from me. Can I grab my camera and get some candids of him praying this Sunday? That’s cool. Right?

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Dee:
In case you haven’t heard, Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera both just gave birth to babies over the weekend. Christina birthed a beautiful baby boy named Max Liron. Max is actually a white baby but we just watched ‘Soul Plane’ and fell in love with Snoop Dog all over again. Nicole birthed a satanic darling baby girl named Harlow Winter Kate Madden. The two parents are still in the midst of negotiating a potential baby-swap.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I’d take Leroy. He will grow up to host his own successful reality TV show entitled Call Me White and I’ll Call You Dead . The show will go into syndication and firmly cement his status as the richest man ever to have been birthed by a mountain goat.

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According the Times of India, Sly Stallone calls his ex-fiance, Janice Dickinson, a liar in retaliation to her recent comments that he took steroids. This crazy bitch even went on to say the Sly injected her with steroids while she was sleeping,

“He juiced me. I’d wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye — steroids, testosterone, all that stuff.”

Now we all know that Sly has been injecting that sweet, ball-shrinking, nectar into his body for years and we don’t care. The fact that Janice claims that he injected her with steroids while sleeping is a bit unsettling, but the fact that Janice Dickinson used to be smokin’ hot is mind blowing.

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Drew Barrymore and her emasculated man, Justin Long, tested their flight-or-fight impulse over the weekend. ‘Flight’ won. The odd couple fled the West Hollywood drinkery, Bar Lubitsch, after a customer photographed them minding their own business. Drew then tattled on the photog and all hell broke loose between the bar staff and a handful of patrons. On onlooker said,

“Drew complained to a member of staff and suddenly there were fists flying everywhere. Drew and Justin ran out of there as quickly as they could.”

Leo:
Hhhhmmmm….does this mean that they did not pay their bar tab if they bolted in a flash? This story may belong in the infamous Celebrity Gratuity graveyard of Derober.com

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Dee:
Zac Efron gives a canned interview to Details magazine. He chose the Presbyterian Church of Hollywood as the setting… and you know how the alter boys roll. He discusses how he’s just a ‘normal dude.’ The reporter writes a total puff piece titled ‘Zac Attack’ describing Zac as ‘omnipresent’ and ‘Osmond-like’. At one point the reporter finally gets up from under the pew to wipe her her mouth off and ask some real hard-hitting questions about the paparazzi whom Zac describes as ‘malicious.’ And that’s about it. Riveting.

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