Who Wore it Best? Hay Hay or Eva?

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So long, O.J.

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Dee:
O.J. Simpson’s bail has been revoked and he’s going back to jail. It doesn’t look good for O.J. right now…at all.
John:
O.J. will be fine. Look on the bright side. O.J.’s what they call ‘prison gay’, a man only gay in prison. And that’s fantastic news for ‘the Juice’, huh!

Is Katie Holmes contractually obligated to Tom Cruise??

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Dee:
US magazine has just reported that the author of the new book Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography has released some startling information regarding Tom Cruise and wife, Katie Holmes. According to author Andrew Morton, prior to marriage Katie Holmes signed a contract to commit to scientology and her father brokered an elaborate high-paying pre-nup. What kind of pre-nup? According to Morton, for every year Katie Holmes stays married to Tom she will make 3 million dollars. But this comes at the price of letting Scientologists have, “full control over her life,” claims Morton. I don’t know if this is true or not, but if it is then it proves my theory that there is no point attending college when you can start your own religion. Seriously, all it takes is one rich asshole like Tom to believe in you and you’re set for life. Just sayin’.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I formed a religion once, but every time I turned the lights back on the ladies were nowhere to be found. My clown suit hasn’t been used since. Another reminder of my failed childhood.

Guess who’s in the bag?

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Dee:
That’s right, Posh Spice and The Children’s Television Workshop have teamed up to hide inside a bag and then sell that bag to you. Marc Jacobs picked Victoria to head their new spring ‘08 campaign. Posh actually posed inside the bags and was ‘a very good sport.’ It’s being called ‘brilliant’ by some dumb people who have money. Others call it -
John:
The most retarded thing I’ve ever seen. I have an idea. Why don’t we stick the American Gladiators in a bag and sell them? Better yet, let’s jam the political candidates inside a shopping cart so we’ll vote for them. We could cram my friend Doug’s whore-sister in a small paper bag so more people will pay her for sex. I could go for days people.

Will Smith has joined the ‘Church’ of Scientology

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Dee:
Will F%#*ing Smith? I really liked him. Page Six is reporting that Will Smith’s flirtation with the cult of Scientology has turned into a full-on make out session. The actor had this to say of the cult in an interview with Men’s Vogue:

“…but in all of the experiences I’ve had with Tom [Cruise] and Scientology, like, 98 percent of the principles are identical to the principles of the Bible. The Bible says, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

John:
Let’s explore that outstanding two percent of this totalitarian cult shall we? Continue Reading: Will Smith has joined the ‘Church’ of Scientology

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