Derober

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Dee:
It seems that Bob “the Bitch” has stowed away in Uma’s luggage (again). His advancements are always thwarted. We don’t know if it’s because Bob’s only 9 inches tall or because he wears a Nixon mask all day; or possibly a combination of the two. We may never know.
John:
At 9″tall, is Bob’s penis visible to the human eye?

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The rumor mill is working overtime trying to figure out if The New Kids on the Block are reuniting or not.
My friend Ed seems to think they are hooking back up and has already reserved tickets for him and his wife Abby -the event will eclipse their wedding day for sure.
However, Danny Wood (the one that looks like Don Flamenco), claims in his official blog,

“Hi to all the New Kids On The Block fans, I wanted to clarify since my first post this morning regarding the NKOTB reunion. I loved being a part of the group, and have always thought “maybe someday we’ll get back together” – you just never know when your someday will come. I can guarantee all the fans that if this reunion were to happen, they would hear about it first on www.NKOTB.com.”

Nothing is posted on NKOTB.com regarding a reunion tour. Sorry Edby -maybe you can substitute the concert with a vacation at any of the fine Sandals Resorts.

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Dee:
It’s no small secret the Lindsay Lohan is off the wagon again. The NY Daily News reported that The recovering addict knocked back “at least two” vodka cocktails Friday night at the Beatrice Inn. Here is where things get clown-shoes hysterical. One of Lilo’s friends gave the following quote regarding Lindsay’s relapse.

“Lindsay is learning how to work through her addictions and, once in a while, she chooses to have a cocktail.”

John:
Everybody knows that you just have to put your head down and plow ahead with these addictions. If some glass of vodka is pissing you off, you have to take that vodka and show it who’s boss. This might go all night so bring plenty of chasers. Whatever happens, keep your feet moving. Don’t stop working.

(This will surely hurt her chances to become V.P. of the United States.)

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Dee:
With a slew of women getting pregnant these days it seems only fitting that Gwen Stefani should be added to the spectarded list. When we looked for a quote from Gavin , he was nowhere to be found. Which begs the question (or not), is he really the father?? Probably, but I’m bored so I’ll ask anyways.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Dee, what’s with all the hostility today. Pregnancy can be a beautiful thing. Like blind men in orgies, or midgets at urinals, there’s beauty all around us. Embrace it…embrace it.

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Sarah Jessica Parker was recently spotted in NYC filming another “cutting-room-floor” scene for the epic Sex in the City movie.
For all you boyfriends / husbands who will be dragged to this movie, here are a few tips for surviving:

1. Yes, SJP is an alien from another planet, so don’t pull your hair out wondering how a human being can be so hideous
2. Haute Couture is French for Toxic Fabric and anyone caught wearing it in real life is certainly quarantined (see above pic)
3. Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall for all you MrSkin.com members) is nude the entire movie, including the end credits
4. Yes, the only hot chick in this flick, Charlotte York (Kristen Davis for MrSkin) does show a boob
5. At least you can brag to your friends that you can now survive Chinese water torture

For more S.J.P. pictures, check out Agent Bedhead’s entry hysterically titled, “Tranny Prostitute Bag Lady”

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