Photo courtesy of pagesix.com. Bob ‘The Bitch’:
We spotted Nicky Hilton shopping yesterday at Christian Louboutin store in L.A., and all we can say is ‘Wow’. Are you kidding me? There is a Hilton girl with more problems than Paris? That’s like telling the victims of Nagasaki, “At least you’re not Hiroshima.” Or telling an AIDS infected person, “At least you weren’t the carrier.” But in all seriousness, anorexia is awful and disgusting. So Nicky, from the bottom of my heart, eat your sister.
Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Paris Hilton is to ‘class’ what Jose Conseco is to baseball’s credibility. I guess the hot thing nowadays is to pose like you’re on the verge of unleashing Niagara in your pants. Or at least 944 magazine thought so when they shot Paris in this shoot. If you ask me, I think the after picture would make a great lunch box picture for today’s youth.
John:
This is distressing news. There will be no sequel to Lohan’s New York Magazine boob bonanza. A friend of Lindsay (and ours) just emailed Derober. She told us Lindsay was pretty pissed off about the whole thing. Or, in her words, “I’m not fu*king doing Playboy.” Supposedly, she was contacted to do their 20 Questions segment and that was it.
We were pretty sure it was bullshit which is why Derober was the only gossip site on the planet that didn’t report the rumor.
In related news, Bob “the Bitch” has locked himself in his bedroom. He’s crying and he won’t come out until Lindsay poses nude for him. Bob got one of those little Canon Elph’s for Christmas and he’s great with lighting and composition. ‘The Bitch’ has put together a working model of the shoot to lure Lindsay into his lair.
For our source’s original (funny) email. Click here.
John:
Ten Week ago, Prince Harry was secretly shipped off to Afghanistan to fight on the front lines. The editors of nearly all major press outlets have been aware of this for quite some time until last night when Matt Drudge of the Drudge Report broke the huge story.
A video has leaked which shows harry on the front lines firing a machine gun into enemy positions and directing an air strike against the Taliban, killing 30. Now that the secret is out, Harry will probably be coming home. There is a high price on his head in Afghanistan and his safety can no longer be guaranteed. By all account he has performed with valor and England is declaring him a national hero. Good work, #2 Prince. You’re #1 in our book.