Derober

About a week ago, the girls (and guys) at Kelly Clarkson Express emailed me these backstage photos for my blog and told me about their ‘How I Feel Project‘ which is trying to revive Kelly’s ‘My December’ album. One of the girls, KellySprinkle, suggested I digg it. A likely story as it has nothing to do with Obama, Anonymous, or My Little Pony Forums. I’m a celebrity blogger and an asshole. I spent my Thursday photoshopping a pint sized version of myself ‘chest diving‘ into Christina Aguilera’s cleavage. Done and done. Request denied.
Then one of the ‘expressers’ sent me an article about how RCA President Clive Davis offered Kelly 10 million dollars to re-record 7 songs on her ‘My December’ album and Kelly told the old man where to stick it. As a result, RCA and almost every radio stations in the country abandoned the album. Hell, for fifty cents and a pack of Newport menthols, I’d service the execs at RCA and smile. And it got me thinking, when it gets down to brass tacks, Oscar the Grouch and Kelly Clarkson got a raw deal.
‘The Grouch’ was a sexually active male in his twenties who couldn’t hump through the can (exhibit A)

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..and Kelly Clarkson gets her leg humped before nearly every concert (exhibit B below). Oscar’s grouchy again. No surprise. His ‘furry’ is ignoring him. Likewise, Kelly is ignored by her label and nearly half the furry community (furries for McCain). The parallels abound.
So I was in my Tempo yesterday belting every lyric to ‘breakaway’. When the song ended the DJ said he played that song some girls on the far reaches of the astroid belt who called themselves the Expressers. Jesus, the KC Express girls really believe in something. I can’t remember the last time I did. Their movement won’t oust Scientology or put a forward thinker in office and maybe that’s pretty cool. Sadly, there is little we can do to save Oscar. Do you know where Oscar is right now? Well you’re a dick if you don’t. Today I’m joining the Expressers. I’m adding some cowbell to my iPod with a side of Clarkson. Kelly and Oscar the Grouch, two strong Americans just trying to hump their way out of a can. Let’s give one some help.

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~all fans must ride Kelly like a horse~

The girls made the video for “How I Feel” themselves. And it’s good.

Other News: The FBI is searching World of Warcraft for terrorists. Not Kidding. Here.

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