Derober

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Dee:
The story goes like this:
According AgentBedHead and ohnotheydidnt, the guy pictured below referred to only as ‘boyfriend’ was driving around New Orleans yesterday when he noticed a Honda Element driving in front of him with ‘Jolie’ tags. The burgeoning paparazzi pulls out his camera phone and snaps a couple pics. ‘Boyfriend’ then pulls up next to the car Continue Reading: Burning Question: Is this Angelina Jolie’s license plate?

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Dee: Has anyone noticed that Paris Hilton DIDN’T get laid at the Grammy’s the other night. According to Pagesix.com, Paris tried her damndest to hook up with uber-guitar-hottie John Mayer, but to no avail. Pagesix reports Paris,

“aggressively tried to hook up with John Mayer - following him around and dancing, trying to get him to look at her…at one point, she sat at a table and tapped on the seat to motion him to sit next to her. John politely sat for less than a second before ignoring her and moving to chat with a group of friends.”    

John, let me be the first to say your music…ehhh…never hit home with me. BUT after publicly making Paris Hilton your bitch I will stand in line and vote Mayer for President in the upcoming election. Congrats for being the first public Paris denial of the new year. Hopefully the first of many. 

Bob ‘The Bitch’: Yes, this is all well and good but more importantly has anyone seen my toothbrush?? I left it out last night and I swear, Derober John, if you used it…I mean, come the F@#% on! That’s not cool, and it certainly isn’t hygienic. For the last time, my brush is always the one on the far left! Stay away from the brush on the far left!! Now I have to make a run to the store. Oh yeah, and horaay John Mayer. Probably never has his toothbrush stolen.

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Dee:
That’s right, Barron Hilton, Paris’ 18 year old brother was pulled over in Malibu at 8:30 AM just wasted.

This was AFTER he pulled into a 76 station and hit a gas station attendant, Fernando Pellez, with his car.

“I was knocked to the ground,” Pellez claims. “The Mercedes lost control as it was turning into the gas station and Barron got out of the car and he was totally drunk and couldn’t walk straight.”

Instead of having Barron recite the alphebet as a sobriety test, the police asked him to spell the word, “LAWSUIT.” Barron answered by spelling the word “FOURTHMEALTACOBELL. ”

John:
There are a number of problems I see here. The first of which is naming your child Barron. Literally translated Barron means Bully Target. Second, we all know the Easter Bunny has had a problem holding his liquor for years and he had a hand in this somehow. Third, midgets don’t exist. Everybody knows that. Also, his actual mugshot is below!

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Dolly Parton has fallen ill with an extreme case of irony. She has postponed her North American concert tour due to back pain.
No she did not sleep wrong or shovel wet cement, her massive mammaries are finally paying her back for all her years of success.

“Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don’t have back problems,”

the 62 year old phenom said in a statement.

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