Derober

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John:
We have to check a few sources here but we’re pretty sure this is legit because we know the sender. We’ll keep you posted. It reads:

John and Leo

I don’t know who leaked the news. I think it was Liz Smith at the NY Post. Hate to break it to ya’ but Lindsay’s never doing playboy. Ever.
I just got off the phone with her and she hadn’t heard the news yet. She was meeting with her lawyer who’s insuring her for her next film. Needless to say, she was fucking fumed. She told me I’m not fucking doing Playboy! She said (they) called her publicist and asked her to do that 20 questions thing but never mentioned doing a spread. Also, you guys need to be nicer to Lilo, she’s had a rough year so back off. I still love you guys except for Bob. Now send this out to all your blogger buddies and fix this situation.

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Photo courtesy of x17online.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Walking the mean streets of NYC took on a whole new meaning today for Paris Hilton. But thanks to her new Real-D glasses she got to see her own death 3D. Who could ask for more?

Ok, I know I know, we all want to see the follow-up to this photo in a month where Tyrone-Rex shits out the remains of Paris. But I’m just one man, people. I only have two hands, and one of em is busy right now.

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John:
Sorry.
Bob ‘the Bitch’:
Really sorry about that.
Leo:
Sorry.

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John:
During a recent interview, Charlize Theron confessed to being young and dumb. When she first arrived in LA from South Africa, she got in a cab and said “Take me to Hollywood.” The cab driver with a since of irony took her to the Farmer’s Daughter hotel. Charlize recalls, “At the time, that hotel was renting rooms by the hour. It took me a gallon of bleach on those sheets to finally get some sleep.”
WTF? You mean to tell me that after the cabbie dropped her off, she actually stayed the night? The hotel is called the Farmer’s Daughter! In every joke ever told on this planet, doesn’t the Farmer’s Daughter always get, well, you know, farmed?

In related news, Asylum has discovered Hookers for Jesus…Jesus.

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513 Doheny Road, Beverly Hills, CA
Click Here for Directions

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Christina Aguilera along with new baby Max Liron, and hubby Jordan Bratman recently moved into the infamous Osbourne homestead. Tucked away in the Hollywood Hills, it’s the perfect home to raise a family in peace and quite . No one knows where this house is, nor has anyone ever seen the interior of the house. When I think of privacy, I think of the Osbourne’s house.

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman

Purchase Price: $11,500,100
Year Built: 1988
Square Feet: 11,571
Bedrooms: 6
Bathrooms: 10
Yearly Property Tax: $78,521.92
Hexes put on house: 48

Click Here for Directions

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