Derober

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Sherway Gardens, Toronto

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“Kiefer and Eva came in for dinner at my restaurant, Via Allegro. We all knew they were in town filming The Sentinel nearby. Eva was with her dog so they sat on the patio. They were so nice. Eva’s dog was also well behaved. Continue Reading: Are Kiefer Sutherland and Eva Longoria good tippers?

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
It has recently been reported that Conan ‘ginger’ O’brien is slated to take over Jaba the Leno’s hosting duties on the Tonight Show next year. And Jay isn’t going quietly into the night. According to The New York Times, the late night king has quietly been offered a deal with the following details:

Sony Pictures Television has made an approach through intermediaries to let Mr. Leno and his representatives know that as soon as he is allowed to discuss his next move, the studio will make him a rich offer for a syndicated late-night show that would make him the highest-paid host in late-night television, put his name on a new theater on the Sony lot and give him a financial interest in Sony music artists who appear on his show.

All sounds good in theory, however, Jay apparently isn’t in it for the money (somewhere in Somalia a man just flipped inside out). Jay wants to continue on as the host of the Tonight Show and finish out his run at his own pace. Touching story really, but I’ve just gotten word from the Somali National Press that the man who’s entrails are now on the outside is threatening to sue for punitive damages. So get out your petty cash, Jay. You have another ticket to pay.

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The Sun is reporting that Angelina Jolie is planning on delivering her child in a French castle in honor of her French mother, Marcheline Bertrand. The breakfast conversation with Brad went exactly like this:

“Hi Honey, I picked up those cuff links you wanted from Macy’s and I’m going to birth my baby in a French fortress. Pass the bacon.’

~The Angellego~

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Photo courtesy of pagesix.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
It had been weeks since I saw Britney Spears‘ dreaded pink rug. I did everything to pray that I never saw it again. I lit candles at St. Judes’ Church and lumberyard, I chopped the heads off of all my pink haired trolls, and I converted to Islam. And all was going well until this morning when Britney’s British bastard cousin Amy Winehouse turned up wearing the wig. And so begins 1000 years of darkness. Sorry everyone. I’ve failed you.

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According to Star Magazine, Adnan is bragging to his friends that he knocked Britney up and is set for life.

“Britney is Adnan’s dream come true. He knows that if he has a child with Brit, he’ll be made for life,” one friend of Adnan’s tells Star.”

Wow, the world’s shittiest mom is going to have another baby. That’s like allowing OJ Simpson to get married again and we all know that story ends. In other news, Britney’s parents are on the verge of suicide.

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