John:
Petra Nemcova is dating Sean Penn. The lovebirds took their romance public at the Oscar after-parties last night. Petra was spotted kissing on Sean while Sean kept an eye out for hookers he might like to pay for sex.
This is like the time your father brings home the hot girl who graduated with you in high school. The one you always wanted. Once the shock wears off, only a homicidal rage remains, ya’ know?
It’s finally here! Jimmy Kimmel is Fu*king Ben Affleck. The Derobers have cut two minutes off the front of the video and got right to the fu*king. The video aired on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night after the Academy Awards. Speaking of the Oscars, don’t forget to check out Derober’s Oscar coverage.
John: Oscar nominated actress Jessica Alba and three-time lotto winner Cash Warren arrived at the Oscars to the hushed tones of nobody giving a shit. I swear, he’d better be hung like a mule deer.
~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~
We finally figured out what it takes to be George Clooney’s flavor of the week.
~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~
Words are pretty useless here. Heigl looks amazing. Her tiny husband had better also be hung like a mule deer.