Derober

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Photo courtesy of x17online.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
You know when it comes to using the ‘brown bag’ I just want to point out that it hurts me more than it hurts the person wearing it. I have to painfully stare at the catastrophe of a mug they call their face as I slowly photoshop that bag on them–AND IT HURTS. So celebrity, next time you’re thinking of going out looking like a troll that just took a shotgun blast to the face, Like Courtnie Love, THINK AGAIN. Lives are at stake here. My life anyways.

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About a week ago, the girls (and guys) at Kelly Clarkson Express emailed me these backstage photos for my blog and told me about their ‘How I Feel Project‘ which is trying to revive Kelly’s ‘My December’ album. One of the girls, KellySprinkle, suggested I digg it. A likely story as it has nothing to do with Obama, Anonymous, or My Little Pony Forums. I’m a celebrity blogger and an asshole. I spent my Thursday photoshopping a pint sized version of myself ‘chest diving‘ into Christina Aguilera’s cleavage. Done and done. Request denied. Continue Reading: Kelly Clarkson and Oscar the Grouch got a raw deal

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Photo courtesy of thesuperficial.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Once you’re the brother of an ex-Backstreet Boy you can’t get out. It’s like the Mafia, but for pop-princesses and retards. Aaron Carter was just busted in Texas for speeding and possession of marijuana. The pop-puss was arrested and forced to spend the night in jail. The Star reports:

“After he was stopped, his car was searched and some marijuana - less than two ounces - was found in the vehicle,” Kimble County Sheriff Michael Chapman told Star. “Mr. Carter was placed under arrest and charged with misdemeanor possession of marijuana and speeding. His car was impounded.”

And so was his ass. Oh, ZINGER! But seriously he probably was taken to the woodshed and drilled by a cowboy named Rusty. All speculation at this point. But sources say that Aaron spent the morning curled up in a blanket, being force-fed doughnuts as he cried like a school girl. He remains there currently.

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John:
Reporting on another man’s virginity is newsworthy. In a recent interview, The Jonas Brothers said they would remain virgins until they get married. Or in other words, until next Tuesday. Their female fan base was as excited as cocoa the chimp (pictured above).
For all things douchebag, check out the great HotChicksWithDoucheBags.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Every man’s favorite Transformer Megan Fox just finished shooting a large photo shoot for Alure magazine. Lucky for us, ‘photo shoot’ means they took pictures.

In this particular picture, Megan was in Milan watching a Versace fashion show. Boring, I know. That’s why I’ve posted Megan’s new boyfriend on the after-post. As you can see his name is Chuck, and he’s a bit of a sensitive chap. He enjoys watching reality TV for hours on end, eating ice-cream out of the box, and cutting the tails off of scorpians. And I think he’s a Pisces. So you heard it here, Megan Fox has a new man. And his name is Chuck McGregor.

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