Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Ok, before I go off the rocker I would like to point out that I’m aware of the fact that a belly button has no real function or purpose to us mortals. It is not essential to sustain life. Having said that, I’d like to say WTF! Are you serious, you’ve had so many tummy tucks, Patricia, that you’re own belly-button has disappeared. Gross!! You know, as far as I know my nipples are worthless to me but you don’t see me lopping them off to get that perfect C-cup I’ve always dreamed of. And you know why, Patricia?? Because my nipples are an essential ingredient for proving that I am in fact human (as astounding as that is). And it’s the same for the belly-button.

In Patricia’s 2002 memoir Motherhood and Hollywood, she claims that her plastic surgeon made her a new belly button during the tummy tuck procedure. “I get to stay in a recovery center for three days and take Percocet, Valium and Ambien all at the same time. That’s right! Who knew? It was as if cutting me open, creating a new belly button and scraping out seven years of scar tissue never happened!”

Congrats Patricia! You look awful.