Casting Call: Tom Cruise’s wife

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By now you’ve all heard that Tom Cruise actually set up a fake audition for a fake movie to find a real wife. There were strict guidelines: “the girls had to be A-list, single, pretty and in their twenties”. This, I cannot argue with. He started with the cream of the crop and invited, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, and Scarlett Johansson to the “audition”. Garnar and Alba smelled a rat and declined the invite when they finally stopped laughing. Scarlett accepted, but later freaked out when she found out the audition was at the Brainwashing Scientology Center in Hollywood. After watching a ball-dropping episode of Dawson’s Creak, Cruise extended the wife invite to sweet little Katie Holmes, and you all know how the rest of the kidnapping fairytale goes from there.

So what have we learned here ladies and germs? Katie Holmes was Tom Cruise’s FOURTH pick. Someone should really tell her. Here are directions to their house.

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