5 simple rules when dating Adriana Lima

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
So if you’re ever in the rarefied position of meeting or dare I say dating Adriana Lima, here are a few simple rules to live by according to Adriana herself.

Have a hint of jealousy:
“I like jealous men. Everything has a limit, of course, but once in a while you have to stand up and say, ‘I love this person.’”

But don’t be too jealous:

“It’s never OK to defend my honor by beating someone up. You have to control yourself, even if the other person is drunk and crazy. Just say, ‘Let’s go home. Let’s leave.’ You don’t have to say a thing to him. I don’t like fights. I don’t like aggressive people.”

Sound convoluted enough. For the rest of Adriana’s impossible standards click here.

Watch how you treat everyone:
“A man needs to be polite, not just to me but to everyone. I watch that. How does he treat the waiter? How does he treat the coat-check girl? How does he treat the driver? Don’t give orders to these people. You don’t own everything around you. Treat people with respect.”

Being a gentleman never goes out of style:
“Show me you can take care of me. Say you’re taking me to dinner: I expect you to pick me up and open the car door for me. Hold the restaurant door while I enter and pull out the chair for me when I sit down. Stand up when I go to the restroom and again when I return. I love old-fashioned manners, as long as it’s not forced. I can tell when it’s natural or when someone is just trying to impress me.”

Get out your candy stripes:
“When I’m sick, I want a lot of caresses. Make sure I eat. If you don’t know how to cook, call and get food delivered. Go to the pharmacy and get the medication I need. Just take care of me until I get better. That’s it. Simple. If you don’t know what to do, ask me. Just say, ‘What do you need?’ I will tell you. Whatever I tell you, do. That’s it.”

And if you want my honest opinion…kill yourself. Just put yourself out of misery now and save yourself the pain and anguish.

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