Derober

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John:
BlackBook chose famed photographer Matthew Rolston to shoot this daring cover of Janet in a cage. The Derobers didn’t know what to make of it at first but after much deliberation our verdict is in: As long as she stays in the cage, it’s fine. I don’t want to have to deal with Janet running around my living room S&M-ing up the whole place. I just got a new IKEA futon and it really ties the room together.

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Photo Credit: Agent Bedhead
John:
Gwyneth Paltrow is whining all over Hollywood while she promotes Iron Man. She claims not to have the same ambitions she used to. The paparazzi are just too intrusive. She likes the simpler life and whaaaaaaaa. Jesus. For a girl who claims to like England more than America, she sure sounds like a spoiled American bitch.
For all you waitresses hoping to make it big, don’t bother. It really sucks to be rich and famous. You get great tips at Applebees and the dental plan ‘aint half bad.

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We were just kidding. Liddell will kill you. Here’s how (Asylum)
Katie Holmes auditioned to be Tom Cruise’s wife (BittenAndBound)
Matt Damon is f*cking his wife (DListed)
Mischa Barton has a new boy toy in rehab (Ayyyy)
A pro golfer faces jail time for killing a bird (mannpill)
Sarah Jessica Parker must be stopped (BedHead)
Longoria, Posh, and Beckinsale dine together (Stab)
Beckinsale is pretty mean (popbytes)
Tyra Banks destroys her apartment (thesuperficial)

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John:
This is pretty nuts. Five years ago, a group of thieves stole Kurt Cobain’s identity and obtained 188 credit cards in Cobain’s name and they were just clearing their throats. The assholes went on to purchase a 3 million dollar mansion in New Jersey. Then, they pillaged Kurt’s son’s trust fund to the tune of a reported 73 million dollars! Courtney Love noticed the fraud back in 2003 but was too strung out on drugs to stop it until yesterday. True story. She tells The Sun:

“I knew it had been going on since when I went cuckoo — bananas — in 2003.
It was fraud after fraud. But nobody believed me until now. I did a check on my deceased husband’s social security number and he has a house in New Brunswick, New Jersey. He bought it last year.
I would like to know how. He should probably get his ass back home if that is the case.”

For more on Kurt’s t-shirt, click on the thumb.

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John:
Paris Hilton went shopping for the paparazzi today. I believe those people behind her are actually clapping. “Hooraay, Paris. Did you see Paris carrying all those bags by herself? So talented. So brave. She’s come so far.” They seem to say.

That’s not just fancy Photoshop above, there’s actually a PS2 game called Buzz! The Hollywood Quiz. The game features over 5,000 movie-and-celebrity questions, 100 movie clips, new round types, and famous film characters as contestants. The Derobers got to test drive the game and we learned 2 things: we want to get drunk with the cartoon host and we really don’t know anything about celebrity gossip. So pick up your sticks and put all your useless celebrity info to use for once. Buzz! The Hollywood Quiz launches March 11th.

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