Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Photo credit: PBS

John:
J-Lo and her ward, Mark Anthony, have graced us with their children’s names. They are called Emme and Max. The two are named after brother and sister named Max and Emmy on the PBS show, Dragon Tales (actually a good show).
We wish the twins all the best. Sadly, their parents are so out of touch they couldn’t tell you what a gallon of milk costs. Hell, they were so paranoid about somebody stealing their babies at the hospital, they hired an army of foot soldiers to protect them. Parlor bet: Emme’s first word will be Dior.

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
The Disneyfication of the Rock is complete. After he finishes Disney’s Witch Mountain, The Rock will head to Fox to film The Tooth Fairy, a story about an inmate who is forced to do time as the Tooth Fairy. Wait, what?
The Derobers love killing off Dwayne. After we reported that he stiffed a server in a Kansas City restaurant, his publicist gave us an earful. The story is true by the way. Since then, any excuse we have to kill off The Rock with a great American lager is a good one. He’s like the Derober’s Kenny, only a huge pussy.

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Scarlett Johannson is auctioning herself off on Ebay this Monday to promote next year’s film, He’s Not That Into You. The winner will accompany Scarlett to the premiere and will also “receive a signed CD and personal note.” Wow and wow.
Eddie ‘the hatchet’ Winslow is the top bidder right now. His MySpace lists him as a “collector of women and freezers.” Good luck with that.

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