Derober

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John:
Kim Kardashian went shopping for the necessities at Rite-Aid today because her maid called in sick and the backup maid was in Cabo. Her personal driver said, “Yeeaaaah, that’s not really my area.” And so it went. You’ll never see this happen again. Ever. Our sun will die and implode on itself before you see this again. She clearly has no clue what she’s doing and I’ll bet if you asked Kim what a gallon of milk costs, she’d say, “I dunno’, a fifty spot?”

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
A great drunk man once told me, “when in doubt always double down.” So when you see the opportunity to ridicule two talentless bags of retard like Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz at once, you have no choice but to seize the moment. And if you don’t believe me just click here to see the infamous video of the two laughing about Hurricane Katrina and the crisis in Africa. It’s 100% real, and it will test your gag reflexes so be sure to watch on an empty stomach. Good luck, and Godspeed.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Here’s some boring photos of Ashlee Simpson in a yellow bikini. For a second I though this newly gingerfied dame was kinda smokin, until I realized who it was. I give these pics “2-shits” on my shit meter, which by the way maxes out at 2. The only way I would give a shit is if Simpson and her living-miscarriage of a boyfriend Pete Wentz, were wading in shark infested waters.

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John:
The Smashing Pumpkins are suing Virgin Records, saying the record label has illegally used their name and music in promotional deals that hurt the band’s credibility with fans.

In a breach-of-contract lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court Monday, the rockers said they have “worked hard for over two decades to accumulate a considerable amount of goodwill in the eyes of the public,” and that Virgin’s use of the band in a “Pepsi Stuff” promotion with Amazon.com and Pepsi Co. threatens their reputation for “artistic integrity.”
Damn the man I always say. We think the Pumpkins will come out on top due to their overall awesomeness. It’s science.

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The new Pussycat doll lingerie collection! (Asylum)
Biggest fu$@ing pillow fight I’ve ever seen (Bedhead)
Timberlake gives away a whole chunk of change (Stab)
Fashion Week in Bangkok makes a hard man crumble (Ayyyy)
Heidi Klum in body paint is exactly what you think (Mannpill)
This Michael Jackson film might just be amazing (Popbytes)

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