Derober

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John:
A combination of bad reviews and Wilson’s off-screen problems sent Drillbit Taylor to the bottom of this weekends box office with only a $10M opening. The Apatow production got zero McLovin’ from critics. My favorite review from John Biefuss read, “Drillbit is to Judd Apatow as ‘Harry and the Hendersons’ is to Steven Spielberg.

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Photo credit: Bitten and Bound
John:
Federal consumer safety watchdogs are investigating claims that Hannah Montana toys contain high levels of lead. The line posted nearly a hundred million in revenues last year. Wow. Paint on five of 28 products tested, including a Girls Rock backpack sold at Walmart.com and a Secret Star wallet from toys R Us, were found to contain up to fourteen times the federal standard for lead.
Are you kidding me? I just purchased the Hannah Montana Backstage Makeover Kit. You know the one I got for my six year old niece with fair skin? I can’t just have her take all that makeup off. It’s caked on for Christ’s sake. She loves it. It’s only an accusation, right? Look man, I can’t talk about this now, I gotta’ run to the store to get some Benedryl for my niece. She’s breaking out and I think it might be chicken pox.

As always, Miley Cyrus’ leaked MySpace pictures will accompany any press she ever gets…ever.

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John:
Welcome to another episode of Derober dress diving. Gemma Atkinson, England’s favorite pin-up girl, is special. She was given some gifts and she’s sharing her special gifts with the world. In the article Gemma talks about how she doesn’t ever withhold sex from her soccer-star boyfriend, Marcus Brent, before matches, “There is no pre-match nookie ban.” Jesus. And there you have it. A real humanitarian.

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John:
This is Marc Jacobs new ad campaign with Victoria Beckham. It sucks.

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Funny. Really funny.

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