Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Jessica Simpson was recently rushed to Cedars-Sinai hospital for treatment of a kidney infection. She has since been released and Jess is doing just fine. I was willing to let it go until Bob ‘the Bitch’ tugged at my shorts and said, “King (the little guy calls me King) “King what really causes a kidney infection?” In women, there are three likely causes:
#1 – Strep Throat
Jessica had strep throat which led to a more serious condition. This hypothesis bores us and we have therefore undiagnosed this as a possible cause.
#2 – Deep Throat
E. Coli bacteria could have been ingested when Jessica went on her one of her notorious raw chicken benders.
#3 – The likely story
But, as many of you girls know, “kidney infection” is generally a very kind way of saying, “I have way too much rough sex, tend to suffer from chronic UTI syndrome, and it kinda caught up with me, doc.” Kidney infections are most often caused by untreated UTIs and UTIs are often caused by bacteria like the kind created during sex. It’s important to note that if Jessica contracted a kidney infection from rough sex, that’s awesome. Eating raw chicken and getting a throat tickle are not newsworthy infections, people. Sex is a much better way to get sick for the blogosphere.

The Derobers have put together a pictorial of what Simpson used to look like before her tragic affliction.