Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
Katie Couric’s CBS News’ ratings are dropping worse than her old boobs and it’s rumored she’ll be canned well before her 5 year contract is over. There’s a slim chance she’ll be taking Larry King’s position in 09 when his contract is up, but we think she should just get her ass back in the kitchen where it belongs. Oooooohhhhhhhhh! Seeeeexxxxxiiiiiiiiiiist!

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Darby Gunpowder:
Have you ever been in the middle of reading something -say Playboy for example, and thought to yourself: “huh, I don’t give a shit about this and have no idea why I am reading it.” Yes? Good, so you can empathize with why you are reading a post about Katie Price’s new children’s book. She’s not naked and she’s wearing a hideous mermaid costume that some soccer mom made. So why is this post somewhat humorous? Katie never even wrote the book, Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book, her ghostwriter did. The kicker: it won the WH Smith Children’s Book of the Year -the effing “Oscar’s” of the book trade. Good fact checking committee.

PS What parent in their right mind buy a children’s book written by a porn star?

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
South Park was right…Miley Cyrus’s Hannah Montana is the new Britney Spears. Pray this year’s celebrity harvest is even better than the last.

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John:
Kim Kardashian is spotted here at her own house filming an episode of her show, Keeping up with the Kardashians. There is very little about Kim’s life that is real. If you can’t sit around your own house with your friends having farting contests without a camera catching every moment, life just isn’t worth living. This girl is dumber than a sack of hammers and yet she’s making money. Hell, I’m talking about her right now. I probably just helped sell two more baby t-shirts from her Smoochy infant clothing line.
Disclaimer: T-Shirts may cause baby to grow up to be a huge slut.

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John:
Robin Wright and Sean Penn recently asked a judge to dismiss their divorce and the judge granted it. The two were spotted at an Eddie Vedder concert last night. Sean got up on stage and dedicated a song to his rekindled flame. We’re not sure what the song was but we have a few guesses.
Nookie - Limp Bizkit
Just one of my hoes - 334 Mobb
F*** her Gently - Tenacious D
Hoe’s in my room - Ludacris
Sorry about screwing all those hookers. My bad -Derober’s original score

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