Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
In an adaptation of Will Eisner’s classic comic, The Spirit, Scarlett Johanson is set to play a sexy nurse. On paper this is the greatest idea for a movie ever. Even better than when some writer decided to have schwarzenegger say, ‘GET TO THE CHOPPER’ in every movie. The only problem is that the nurse outfit is…well, not how I always dreamed it could be. I’m sure some righteous ass of a directed wanted to stay ‘true’ to the character in the script. But I say Booo! Shame on you. Having Scarlett Johanson play a sexy comic book nurse is the opportunity of a lifetime. That’s like having the winning lottery ticket but refusing to cash it in because you don’t think it ’seems right’. Grow up. You cash that ticket every time. Director of The Spirit, you still have time. Open the door…open the door.

Below are just a few rough sketches of what I think Johanson’s costume should look like. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:

According to an interview with Canada’s National Post Lauren Conrad

won’t date guys that are in reality TV shows. The hippocrate Conrad said,

Dating [on The Hills] is hard because, personally, I don’t really want to date a guy that wants to be on a reality show, but those are the only kind of guys I can date,

Really?! That’s funny coming from a woman who whores herself out the the world every day on a scripted reality TV show. Get off your high horse. Who are you to judge other people who are pursuing a career via reality TV. Don’t get me wrong, I hate all of you. But I’m not exactly on reality TV myself am I? So I can say that. In the meantime, do yourself a favor. Find a nice little canyon and throw yourself in it. And on the decent down remember not to criticize other people for throwing themselves off cliffs. Hippocrate.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Which is worse, being a Nazi or a Scientologist? Being Tom Cruise -it was a trick question. The opening day for Cruise’s Hitler assassination movie, Valkyrie, has been delayed for the third time. We’re not sure if Cruise plays the assassin, or if he play’s Hitler, but we’d like to think he plays Hitler, because although the attempted assassination goes awry, he still blows his brains out at the end of the day. That scene alone would surpass any Jessica Alba nude scene….ok, that’s not remotely true.

more at twiigs.com…

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John:
Somehow, Kim Kardashian got herself invited to Jessica Alba’s baby shower. She brought Alba’s baby a gift from her own clothing line, Smooch. A lot of thought went into that one I’ll bet. I’m sure Alba was happy to have Kim at the baby shower in the way that baby seals are glad to have Great White sharks at their baby showers. Just a lot of fun for everyone!

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Hef turns 82 and he get’s laid more than you (Asylum)
Javier Bardem threesome rumors and more (Bedhead)
A wet t-shirt contest at 30,000 feet (Mannpill)
Rob Lowe gets nasty with babysitter (DListed)
Fergie smells. Yep, smells (Stab)

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