Derober

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John:
In a recent interview with Maxim, Gary Busey was asked what’s the strangest thing he ever snorted cocaine off of? Busey couldn’t remember at the time. Then a few hours later Busey’s publicist called Maxim back because Gary had finally remembered. I repeat, Busey got back to ‘em on that one. And he did not disappoint:

I came home one day, took off my windbreaker, and three bindles of cocaine fell to the floor. Well, my dog, Chili, who has short hair, came in and laid on her back with her legs in the air, and she rubbed all my cocaine on her back and side. I yelled, “No, Chili! No” So I got a straw, and I started brushing her hair and snorting where I saw cocaine. Back, butt, side — not a spot was left. It took me 25 minutes to snort all the cocaine the dog had on her coat. The fringe benefits of this were that the fleas, the dog hair, the mud, and the sweat went in my nose, too. It’s not a good flavor coming off the dog.

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John:
The star of some of Hollywood’s greatest epics is gone. The Oscar-winning actor passed away at home in Beverly Hills on Saturday night. His wife Lydia was at his side. The details of his death have not yet been released but he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease early in 2002. His publicist publicist Michael Levine described Heston’s passing as the end of an era:

“If Hollywood had a Mt. Rushmore, Heston’s face would be on it,” Levine said. “He was a heroic figure that I don’t think exists to the same degree in Hollywood today.”

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For the conclusion, Continue Reading: Something Athiests and Christians can agree on

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John:
Cameron Diaz poses for the UK edition of GQ. Apparently in England people believe Cameron actually looks like this. So if you’re reading this in the UK, that’s really me on the hang glider, swear. I’m 9 inches tall on a good day. Usually, I take my unicorn to work but it had a cold so I took the glider.

For all Derober dress diving episodes, click here.

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John:
After 14 years of relative calm, my ears started to itch about a month ago. The official bomb dropped on the Today show this morning. The New Kids on the Block finally ran out of money and reunited. Say it with me, Danny, Jordan, Joey, Jon, and Donny. F*ck me, I didn’t even have to google that. I just knew. Their tour starts sometime, ah, I don’t know. I’m not going.

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