Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Last Saturday in celebration of her shit-tastic movie 21 being number one at the box-office, Kate Bosworth celebrated by throwing a little party at her house. Seems like a swell enough idea on paper. Just one problem, Kate forgot to invite her dog ‘Spawn’ to the party. According to a source at the party, the rabies infected dog (we hope) attacked Bosworth’s 21 co-star Aaron Yoo and proceeded to bite into his face. Yoo was rushed to the hospital where he recieved multiple stitches. Neither Aaron’s or Bosworth’s publicist have commented on the situation.

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John:
Spanish singer-songwriter Alejandro Sanz, Colombian pop diva Shakira and her boyfriend, Antonio de la Rúa, had sex on Sanz yacht owned by Sanz. One of Sanz ex-employees, Carlos González, got his hands on the thing and tried to extort money from Shakira. The tape is now being held as evidence against González. In other words, the tape exists.
Sources who have seen the tape claim that if it ever gets out, “It would be detrimental to the singer’s career.” Wow! I want to be on the jury for this trail so bad I’m willing to loose my American citizenship and become a Colombian. I learned their national anthem and everything. It’s about a donkey on cocaine and he gets the girl in the end or something.

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Darby Gunpowder:
I love California. Local “medical” marijuana dispensaries are selling a new strain of weed called, Tom Cruise Purple. The bottle features a devilish photo of Tom Tom cackling like a rabid hyena -no joke. Of course the retards running the show at the Scientology Center are not pleased. The cavalry has been brought in, but my money is on the potheads -they have more power than 1,000 Zenus.
This chick smoked some of the Tom Cruise Purple and went on a Blumpkin rampage -true story

YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS CHICK IN ACTION -IT”S INSANE!!! CLICK HERE
(imagine the possibilities of future of interactive internet porn when you go to this site)

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Darby Gunpowder:
Nearly 5000 years after starting with the MLS, David Beckham has finally scored his first goal (in league play -not tournament). Here’s a list of things that happened while Becks was in a, ahem, drought:

-Dinosaurs went extinct
-Leif Erickson discovered America (not Columbus)
-Television was invented by Filo Farnsworth from Fort Wayne Indiana
-The bikini was invented by an angel from heaven
-SEARS sold vibrating massagers and housewives bought them for other uses
-We found Waldo (having sex with Carmen Sandiego)
-Richard Grieco was born
-Robert Goulet died
-Posh Spice was unplugged and set free into the human world as a Dharma experiment
-Derober.com was launched
-David Beckham scores his first MLS soccer goal

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John:
Another photo from Posh’s Marc Jacob’s campaign has been released. Every time one of these photos is ‘leaked’, we hammer the poor Posh, here. It’s tradition. Posh is that dumb ass hot cheerleader we all knew in high school who married the prom king… of the world. She may have punched her golden ticket but that doesn’t make her smart. For Posh, reading a newspaper is like my ex-girlfriend during sex, she just moves her mouth and fakes it.  So I’m gonna’ stick a frog in her mouth and call her a bitch. There. I feel better already.

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