Derober

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For the conclusion, Continue Reading: Something Athiests and Christians can agree on

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John:
Cameron Diaz poses for the UK edition of GQ. Apparently in England people believe Cameron actually looks like this. So if you’re reading this in the UK, that’s really me on the hang glider, swear. I’m 9 inches tall on a good day. Usually, I take my unicorn to work but it had a cold so I took the glider.

For all Derober dress diving episodes, click here.

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John:
After 14 years of relative calm, my ears started to itch about a month ago. The official bomb dropped on the Today show this morning. The New Kids on the Block finally ran out of money and reunited. Say it with me, Danny, Jordan, Joey, Jon, and Donny. F*ck me, I didn’t even have to google that. I just knew. Their tour starts sometime, ah, I don’t know. I’m not going.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Last Saturday in celebration of her shit-tastic movie 21 being number one at the box-office, Kate Bosworth celebrated by throwing a little party at her house. Seems like a swell enough idea on paper. Just one problem, Kate forgot to invite her dog ‘Spawn’ to the party. According to a source at the party, the rabies infected dog (we hope) attacked Bosworth’s 21 co-star Aaron Yoo and proceeded to bite into his face. Yoo was rushed to the hospital where he recieved multiple stitches. Neither Aaron’s or Bosworth’s publicist have commented on the situation.

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John:
Spanish singer-songwriter Alejandro Sanz, Colombian pop diva Shakira and her boyfriend, Antonio de la Rúa, had sex on Sanz yacht owned by Sanz. One of Sanz ex-employees, Carlos González, got his hands on the thing and tried to extort money from Shakira. The tape is now being held as evidence against González. In other words, the tape exists.
Sources who have seen the tape claim that if it ever gets out, “It would be detrimental to the singer’s career.” Wow! I want to be on the jury for this trail so bad I’m willing to loose my American citizenship and become a Colombian. I learned their national anthem and everything. It’s about a donkey on cocaine and he gets the girl in the end or something.

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