‘Guns’ release Chinese Democracy, Egotastic calls it quits, More Juice Please…

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

A roundup of the today’s best April Fool’s jokes (Asylum)
Gun’s N’ Roses release Chinese Democracy (Sound)
Egotastic turns out the lights (Egotastic)
What the f#ck happened to Lara Flynn Boyle’s face (Bedhead)
I think I can see Britney Spears’ nipple (Stab)
It’s a Victoria’s Secret model in lingerie (mannpill)
The Beckham’s get waxed (Popbytes)

Bar Rafaeli is not from earth

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John:
Bar Rafaeli was born on Hesperos just outside the Aron Galaxy. Her father was a ninja and her mom was Miss Universe (literally). She has come here to save us all from ourselves and “pound that earthling from Titanic.” All I wanted was a little dress diving action but she summoned a fire orb or some shit which sucked because I was really close and I never miss.

For all the Derober ‘dress diving’ episodes, click here.

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Airbrushed Madonna (dis)graces cover of Vanity Fair

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Darby Gunpowder:
My sensible side knows this picture of Madonna is photoshopped, but I still think it’s hot. My non-sensible side turned to stone after making eye-contact. My gag-reflex side just puked out my nose when I remembered how gross Madonna is in real life (see photos below).

PS Madonna carries the weight of the world on her back in case you can’t read between the lines.

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Clooney’s girlfriend is still a rock star

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John:
Up until last week, everybody thought Sarah Larson seemed like Clooney’s quiet accessory; a behind-the-scenes pillar of strength for the man. We were mistaken. Larson is a certified freak. The Sun has leaked a new set of photos from Larson’s Vegas days we’re calling her ‘bondage period.’
I don’t know if Sarah has a fan club but if she does, I’m going to be president of it. As president, I decree this day to be Sarah Larson Rockin’ Body Day. It’s catchy, huh? Wait, is today already a special day? Shit.

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Dina Lohan makes Ali drink goats blood

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Darby Gunpowder:
Dina Lohan may or may be possessed by the devil herself. In filming her new reality shit-show, Living Lohan, Dina was captured by photogos in some ceremonial death-soul-quenching-convulsion-dance at a Harlem church. During the dance she transformed from a dainty MILF to the spawn of Satan: The Crypt Keeper. Her other daughter, Ali, sat quietly in the corner crying while drinking goats blood from a hollowed out skull.

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