Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
You may not know the name Alexis Phifer, but what you should know about her is that she hates clowns. Especially bigot clowns. You’ve definitely heard of Kanye West, but what you should know about him is that he hates hot hookers. Some may call these ignorant generalizations, I call them truepinions (yes, I just coined a word). Kanye has broken off his engagement to MISS Phifer because he is a narcissist. More reputable news sources are reporting Kanye has fallen in love with his new “Glow in the Dark” tour and doesn’t have time for anything thing else -such as a wife. For more truepinions and Kanye West clownshoe stories, click here.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Just when you thought it was safe to go to the beach, Ali and Dina Lohan reared their ugly heads. The two fame leaches visited Malibu beach today in hopes of stealing some of Lindsey’s press. But no one steals from Lindsay. Rumor has it Lindsay is forming a counter strike as we speak. We don’t know many of the details but apparently a call was made to Kim Jong-Il and an alliance is brewing.

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John:
Derober is in no position to confirm this rumor right now but we are hearing chatter from people we know well that ‘ol Ashlee might not be as enamored with the Wentz-Bag as it appears. Apparently, there are some pictures of Ashlee with another man lookin’ real cheat-like taken a year ago. If we get these photos we are going to publish the crap out of ‘em. Until then, stay calm and tip your waiter.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Most of my friends know that when it comes dating women 18 and older I tend to bend the rules a little bit…
John:
You damn near break them off, Bob.
Bob ‘The Bitch’:
But that’s neither here nor there. What is important though is that I think being a 15 year old famous kid like Miley Cyrus comes with certain guidelines. The first of which, is don’t have sex in front of a camera. But the second, is don’t put up scandalous pictures of yourself on the internet. Long story short, it gets around. You’re not Joe-Shmo-highschool teen–you’re Miley F%*$ing Cyrus; Actor behind mega hit Hannah Montana and daughter to Billy Ray himself (Amen). So next time you have pictures you want to send to your boyfriend -do it via mail. It might seem prehistoric and outdated but believe it or not it has proven itself to be a safe and efficient system for the better part of..oh I don’t know..mankind’s existence. True story.

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Darby Gunpowder:
For all you newbies to Derober, roll your damn mouse over the above photo to see the brilliant untoonage of the, ahem, hot Jessica Rabbit. Badass illustrator, Pixeloo, is the man behind the photoshop magic. Well done sir. But let’s face it, there’s something wrong with thinking a cartoon is hot. Ask Bob about the time we caught him with his hands full while watching Lilo & Stitch with a belt around his neck. Disturbing to say the least.

My next challenge to Pixeloo: untoon the little mermaid herself, Aerial.

Don’t forget to click on the thumbnail to see the full-size masterpiece.

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