Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Party-girl Jenna Bush threw in the towel and got hitched this past weekend. The lucky son of a bitch who took my dreamgirl’s hand in marriage is Henry Hager. The good news is the divorce rate in this country is increasing exponentially and she should be back on the market before Christmas, which is when I’ll make my move.
The wedding took place at the Bush family’s Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas on Saturday. Jenna’s twin sister, Barbara, aka Short-End-Of-The-Stick, stood as Maid of Honor while Henry’s brother, John, aka Second-Fiddle, stood as Best Man.
The major news outlets are reporting the couple met because Henry’ father is the chairman of the Virginia Republican Party, a former lietenant governor of Virginia, and served in President Bush’s Education Department.
Derober is reporting they met at a Dave & Busters on a Tuesday (2 for 1 shots of Wild Turkey-Day). Henry found Jenna hammered, face-down in a urinal in the men’s restroom. She wasn’t breathing. Henry gave her mouth to mouth, and she puked all over his clownshoes. Henry saved her life, Jenna rallied, and the rest is history.