Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
This just in, Jessica Biel may be engaged..and pregnant…..and addicted to pain killers and Nazi My Little Pony pictures. Alright, maybe I embellished a c-hair with the whole pain killer/my little pony forum. But the other two tit tid-bits may be true according to The Sun. The story goes that Justin Timberlake may have proposed to Biel because he found out that she was harboring a terrorist baby in her whom. The Sun report adds,

He will soon be proposing and has already started looking at potential wedding venues — or in his case, islands. The two have been dating since January last year and rumors are rife they may already be planning a family.

One source said Jessica has not been drinking recently, sparking pregnancy rumors. They added: “Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica.”

Great. Just great. Now what am I going to do with this stack of nude photos of myself riding a My Little Pony?? I had everything riding on those photos attracting you into my arms.

Seriously, I sold my car to buy that life size My Little Pony doll. Jessica, you owe me.