Darby Gunpowder:
Party-girl Jenna Bush threw in the towel and got hitched this past weekend. The lucky son of a bitch who took my dreamgirl’s hand in marriage is Henry Hager. The good news is the divorce rate in this country is increasing exponentially and she should be back on the market before Christmas, which is when I’ll make my move.
The wedding took place at the Bush family’s Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas on Saturday. Jenna’s twin sister, Barbara, aka Short-End-Of-The-Stick, stood as Maid of Honor while Henry’s brother, John, aka Second-Fiddle, stood as Best Man.
The major news outlets are reporting the couple met because Henry’ father is the chairman of the Virginia Republican Party, a former lietenant governor of Virginia, and served in President Bush’s Education Department.
Derober is reporting they met at a Dave & Busters on a Tuesday (2 for 1 shots of Wild Turkey-Day). Henry found Jenna hammered, face-down in a urinal in the men’s restroom. She wasn’t breathing. Henry gave her mouth to mouth, and she puked all over his clownshoes. Henry saved her life, Jenna rallied, and the rest is history.
Darby Gunpowder:
Whether you like the man or not -you will love this video of vintage O’Reilly losing his marbles captured on tape. Funniest thing I have seen all week:
“FUCK IT! Do it live! I’ll write it and we’ll do it live! Fucking thing sucks!”
John:
John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston continue their Miami PDA fest. Sadly, it’s come time for me to admit that John Mayer has more game than Parker Bros. Darby, Bob ‘the Bitch’ and I actually called an emergency Derober house summit last night about this. Once ‘the Bitch’ returned from 7-Eleven with my Sour Patch Kids, we summited. The Conclusion:
John Mayer’s music makes deaf babies cry. However, banging Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly, and Jennifer Aniston is sex’s Triple Crown. John has taken them all down and for that we must give him the respect he deserves. The Derobers have no other choice but to illegally download his albums and celebrate his entire collection.
John recently went ‘Dress Diving’ in Aniston’s fun bags here.
Bob ‘The Bitch’:
In case you looked at this picture and then the title and said to yourself, “who is this, and how do I gain access to those cannon balls?” You may have used a slight variation for term ‘breast’ and that is OK, it’s what makes this country great. Freedom of speech. You say tit, I say tot; you say fun bags, I say hose hounds. But I digress. Sophie Howard’s jugs could nurse an army of genetically enhanced baby soldiers while taking first place at the Jugs-R-Us pageant in Waco Texas. In this picture Sophie is posing for the Nuts Football Awards (which apparently is not a made up event). I for one say that no matter what category is the winner should always be, “Sophie Howard’s WHAMMY tanks”. But that’s just one man’s opinion.
Darby Gunpowder:
For all the Derober virgins out there who have never been to the best site in the world, make sure to roll your mouse over the photos to reveal the hidden, photoshopped photos.
We make it a point to not mix politics and celebrity dirt here at Derober, but I lost a bet to my good friend Ed. In case you missed it, check out Hillary wearing a tutu and dancing at the Democratic National Convention HERE
Click on the “Share” button below to email this post to all your friends . . .or else.
Bob ‘The Bitch’:
You thought you could get away with it, Hilary. You thought I’d just let it slide. But you made a fatal mistake, Hilary. You bought coffee from Starbucks. You bitch. That is the highest form of corporate whoring. The summit of selling out. A cornucopia of commercial excrement. Let this be a lesson now and forever that I DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH STARBUCKS CONSUMERS.
Marisa Miller Bikini
Celeb Super Hybrid
Remembering Britney
Sophie Monk on Fire
Moss Threesome
Fahrenheit Audrina 
Megan Fox Nude
Kardashian bikini
David Beckham $$$
Johnny Knoxville $$
Donald Trump $$$
The Dog -$
Leonardo Dicaprio $$
Justin Timberlake -$
Posh & Katie -$
Christina Aguilera $$
