Paris is now accessible to children

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Bob ‘The Bitch’
:
Hey kids, do you like to play with Mommy’s toys when she leaves for work? Have you ever wished for something more?? Has the thrill of banging away on Mom’s drum sticks lost its edge? Well then do we have the solution for you. Introducing the new Russian made ‘Steffi Love’ doll is your favorite role model celebrity, Paris Hilton. The doll is modeled after Paris herself in looks and personality. It comes equipped with tripod and camera, a stripper pole, a strap-on, numerous changes of clothing and Paris’ patented herpe bumps. Who needs friends when you have Paris to show you how far the rabbit hole goes? So buy one today. Go ahead, go to town with her. Paris never judges. And neither do we.

Warning: previously mentioned accessories are not included with Paris Hilton doll. Doesn’t mean you can’t have fun though.

For more on the doll.

Elisha Cuthbert questions men’s sexual preference

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Darby Gunpowder:
OVER-RATED! -clap—clap—clap-clap-clap -OVERATED! I know, I know, some girls have good days and some girls are OVER-RATED -clap—clap—clap-clap-clap! I gotta be honest, I’ve never been sold on Ms. Cuthbert. She’s famous, so she gets an extra 2 points on the hot scale, but let’s be honest, we all have friends or friends’ sisters that put her to shame. Maybe it’s her shittious tube-top bikini, maybe it’s her Albert Einstein looking weave…? Whatever it is, she’s OVER-RATED! -clap—clap—clap-clap-clap!

Update: Retraction, I just remembered how hot she was in Maxim -click here for pics…damnit.

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Tom Cruise’s new website has lots of words…

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John:
When creating his new site Tom was reportedly told, “Suck yourself off in 4,000 words or less.” Tom misinterpreted his directions and shoved his head clean up his ass instead. Silly Boy. The site is clown shoes as you might expect. You can view Tom’s biography and hobbies. You can even chat with Tom if you like. I asked him, “Why head up ass?” I kept it short and monosyllabic so Tom would understand. I’m sure he’ll get right back to me.

When you’re this hot people take notice

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Amy Winehouse never seizes to amaze me. She’s just so paleolithically ugly that she’s starting to turn me on for all the wrong reasons. It’s kind of like staring at the sun or a kid with down syndrome, you know it’s wrong but you do it anyways. In this gem of a photo you can see Amy without the Beehive wig which apparently is used for covering bald patches on her head (see pictures below). I just hope she can pull herself together so that she can be reunited with her drug dealer husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. After all, how else am I going to have fun with this blog if I can’t do weekly posts of the Flintstones smoking pebble rocks?? I put it to you.

For more on the Paleolithic one.

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GUESS THE CELEBRITY RACK!!!

Darby Gunpowder:
The Metropolitan Museum of Art held it’s annual Costume Institute Gala, and the skin was out in force. In honor of my hate for the word “Gala” and my love for boobs, I’ve decided to put together a man’s version of red carpet coverage called, “Guess the Celebrity Rack!”.
If you’re angry because you don’t recognize the ‘celebrities’ at all, you’re missing the entire point of this post and you cannot be helped. But here is a list to try and guess who’s boobs are who’s. Roll your mouse over the photos to reveal the celeb. Gisele Bundchen, Eva longoria, Blake Lively, Christina Ricci, Ivanka Trump, Diane Kruger, Michelle Monaghan, Jennifer Lopez, Claudia Schiffer, Katie Holmes, Thandie Newton Mischa Barton, Sarah Silverman, Taylor Swift, Eva Amurri, Emmy Rossum, Blake Lively, Fergie, and Beyonce

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For the the remaining racks click here Continue Reading: GUESS THE CELEBRITY RACK!!!

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