Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
Kentwood Louisiana woke up when mega-star Britney Spears showed up at her sister’s baby shower this past weekend. E! News did all the work for us again,

E! News has learned that mom and dad did all the cooking for the alcohol-free affair, which included fried chicken and chili.
Security was tight at Serenity, with police setting up a roadblock and checking IDs. By noon, only about 50 cars were allowed to enter, mostly filled with college-age men and women. There was no sign of Jamie Lynn’s baby daddy/fiancé, Casey Aldridge.

I’m calling bullshit that Mr and Mrs did all the cooking. Derober’s underage illegal immigrant camera boy caught Jamie Lynn and crony outside the local KFC loading their truck full of greasy goodness. This is another sure indicator that her closet-porker of a sister was in town. Get you some hauss!!!

Click here to check out Britney’s gut.

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John:
Generally, when somebody is riding a magical flying seahorse toward your cleavage, you take notice. However, Aniston was just too busy enjoying the pool boys to care. Don’t get me wrong, we’re grateful that Aniston rocks the bikini. She could be like Katie Holmes who is apparently no longer allowed to wear dresses above her ankles, such is tradition in the Mennonite/Xenu culture.

So I guess what I’m driving at is a thank you here. Thanks for hottin’ up my Monday, Jen. Check’s in the mail.

For all Derober Dress Diving episoded, click here.

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John:
Tom and Katie went to The Country Girl on Broadway this weekend. They also took a spaceship helicopter ride over the city. The two look very happy together here. It should be noted that if Katie releases Tom’s hand and makes any attempt to escape, a small microchip in Katie’s brain will let Xenu authorities know her exact location. Tom calls it his Katie LoJack.

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My favorite quotes in this video:

Reporter: “Did you know you could kill somebody?”
7 year old kid: “Yes, but it I wanted to do hood-rat stuff wit my friend.”

Reporter: “You don’t think you should be punished for all this?”
7 year old kid: “Li’l bit -no video games for a whole weekend.”

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
After her little topless stunt this week, Disney is on full blown Miley Cyrus damage control. Miley was scheduled to appear at Disney in Orlando this week but Disney backed out at the last minute. And by ‘backed out’ I mean struck her over the head with a hammer, drugged her, and shipped her off to the Gilapagos Islands where Disney keeps all their fallen stars–cause Disney DOES NOT negotiate with the help. Just look at Vanessa Hudgens. Haven’t seen her too much since the nude photoshoot have you? Yeah, neither have we. She swims with Darwin’s fishes.

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