Derober

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John:
Generally, when somebody is riding a magical flying seahorse toward your cleavage, you take notice. However, Aniston was just too busy enjoying the pool boys to care. Don’t get me wrong, we’re grateful that Aniston rocks the bikini. She could be like Katie Holmes who is apparently no longer allowed to wear dresses above her ankles, such is tradition in the Mennonite/Xenu culture.

So I guess what I’m driving at is a thank you here. Thanks for hottin’ up my Monday, Jen. Check’s in the mail.

For all Derober Dress Diving episoded, click here.

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John:
Tom and Katie went to The Country Girl on Broadway this weekend. They also took a spaceship helicopter ride over the city. The two look very happy together here. It should be noted that if Katie releases Tom’s hand and makes any attempt to escape, a small microchip in Katie’s brain will let Xenu authorities know her exact location. Tom calls it his Katie LoJack.

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My favorite quotes in this video:

Reporter: “Did you know you could kill somebody?”
7 year old kid: “Yes, but it I wanted to do hood-rat stuff wit my friend.”

Reporter: “You don’t think you should be punished for all this?”
7 year old kid: “Li’l bit -no video games for a whole weekend.”

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
After her little topless stunt this week, Disney is on full blown Miley Cyrus damage control. Miley was scheduled to appear at Disney in Orlando this week but Disney backed out at the last minute. And by ‘backed out’ I mean struck her over the head with a hammer, drugged her, and shipped her off to the Gilapagos Islands where Disney keeps all their fallen stars–cause Disney DOES NOT negotiate with the help. Just look at Vanessa Hudgens. Haven’t seen her too much since the nude photoshoot have you? Yeah, neither have we. She swims with Darwin’s fishes.

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Photo credit: Daily Stab (thanks Kelly!)
John:
Christina Aguilera left Crown Bar in LA last night so wasted she couldn’t stand up. Derober would like everybody to know that we condone this type of behavior 100%. Christina could hav had a bad day yesterday. Who knows? Maybe she got a runner in her panty hose and just said “Eff it, I’m gonna’ get hammered drunk.”

Disclaimer: Derober does not actually condone this behavior unless you are female of a borderline age and under our constant supervision. Thank you.

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