Derober

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John:
Emmanuelle Chriqui, the hot chick from Entourage is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. She poses for the cover of GQ here. Let’s face it, very few people can rock a jean jacket in this fickle fashion era. You could stick this girl in a moo moo and stonewashed jeans and she’s still rock the house.
Memba’ that episode of Entourage when Sloan and he best good friend Tori doubled up on E? Memba’? I f*ckin’ do.

For all Derober ‘Dress Diving’ episodes, click here.

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Darby Gunpowder:
British singer, Lily Allen forgot her tact while vacationing in Cap d’Antibes, France. In English, Cap d’Antibes stands for, “100% chance your nude photos will show up on the internet and you will regret taking your top off/pounding 2 Hungry Mans before hitting the beach.” For those of you who aren’t familiar with Lily Allen, she’s the burnt, topless, tsunami-causing chick in the photos above.
For all the women in the world who just added Darby Gunpowder to their people-to-kill list, please reconsider.
I actually have a crush on Lily Allen. I think she’s cute as a button -seriously. (See the non-orca photos below to prove it) But I do have a message for Lily: Don’t do that.

Check out this video of Lily in all her cuteness…is it weird she is stuffing her face with chocolate the first 30 seconds of the video??

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Colin Farrell is dropping way to much weight for his new film (DListed)
A clip of Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson making out has surfaced (On205th)
Claudia Schiffer poses topless in Vogue (Stepfather)
A new way to search for hot ass chicks on the internet (Asylum)
The new Sex in the City sucks balls (Pink)
Lily Allen topless in Cannes (WWTDD)
Is Mariah Carey pregnant? (Stab)
The Maxim Hot 100 list complete with funny commentary (BedHead)

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Jessica Simpson dumped by Tony Romo–take two!! OK, so we’re not sure how many times we will have to report that Tony dumped Jessica. But I’m guessing it will be a cool baker’s dozen. Eventually it will get so bad that every time a cow rips ass in Montana the papz will report that Tony split from Jessica again. Anyways, according to sources one of Romo’s buddies told the press that while drinking in Chicago Romo dissed Jessica’s mating skills and broke up with her over the phone. Another source elaborated on the night,

Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over. They are taking a “break.” He could never see himself being serious and marrying this girl. He’s just having fun with her. It’s funny everyone is talking about them getting married when they are completely over. Sorry Jessica, Tony had his fun with you, and now is on to bigger and better things.

Jessica is so gorgeous that for her to be called out in bed she would literally have lie dormant and snore while having sex. And even then I’d let it go. But that’s why I’m in front of a computer and Tony is preparing for another season with the Cowboys.

BTW, in honor of my Indian-a heritage–GO COLTS!

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Darby Gunpowder:
Miley Cyrus took a break from taking racy photos for her boyfriend to take racy photos for the “Got Milk” campaign. After washing my eyes out from staring at the pre-teens crotch area, I noticed the photos in the background…they appeared to be a collection of her most celebrated inappropriate photos -Miley’s Smuttiest Hits”. Upon zooming in, I was correct. That little minx slipped in semi-nude photos of herself (and a nude midget) into the background of the Milk photoshoot. And are those her panties!! Damnit Miley, I just got back from confession!!!

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John:
Maxim magazine kept a hammer lock on Worst Magazine Ever Ever by naming Britney Spears the #19 hottest woman on the planet. By comparison Sarah Marshall’s Mila Kunis is #81 and Emma Watson is #94. Maxim’s Editor said,

“… [Britney] still oozes genuine sexiness, and if anyone can make a comeback, it’s her.”

She oozes something that’s for sure. These photos were taken yesterday. Britney was smuggling watermelons out of a local Ralph’s restaurant when she remembered her cigarette addiction. The watermelons were taken back and cremated.

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