Whoever said, “there’s no use crying over spilled perfume” is full of shit

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
It turns out that Jessica Alba was not wearing a fake pregnancy suit after all. Damn the devil!!! The future Mrs Gunpowder gave birth to our human baby girl this weekend. TheSuperficial reports,

She was born this weekend at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
Alba’s father was overheard saying “she’s beautiful.” Warren — in a T-shirt, jeans and baseball cap — was spotted carrying food into the maternity ward Sunday. Her rep had no comment.

Who am I kidding, I’m not ready to be a father. Cash Warren is going to raise the baby with Jessica as per our arrangement -this is just until I grow up and take responsibility for the little bugger. But I’ll be ready soon, I’m sure of it. Until then, I’ll be on sabbatical, finger painting with lambs blood and burning copies of Into the Blue 2 DVD’s.

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