Derober

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John:
Just when I thought I couldn’t love Megan Fox any more, she tells Hollyscoop:

“I have the libido of a teenage boy. I’d rather have sex all the time than leave the house.”

So that happened. And then I went out and purchased some new stalker equipment right after. I’ve never stalked anyone before and I’ve already started second guessing my purchase of a rope ladder, 3D glasses, and Cool Ranch Doritos. If there are any real stalkers out there, please email me at blogderober@gmail.com with suggestions. Thanks!

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Alba’s baby wants out (DListed)
The best songs about hookers ever made (Asylum)
Will Smith avoids Tom Cruise at MTV awards (BedHead)
Bad Boys III might be coming soon (DailyStab)
Amy Winehouse has some serious bruises (Pink)
MTV Movie Awards, Stepfather style (DrunkenStepfather)

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Angelina Jolie in the new issue of Vanity Fair does for me what water does to Chia pets. Do the math. Angelina in this picture is a perfect example of how pregnant women everywhere should try to be. No more ,”I’m eating for two” bullshit. Just keep that chin high and tight and rock the hell out of those cannons.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Courtney Love is claiming that the ashes and locks of hair of her late hubby, Kurt Cobain, were stolen. Please take a seat for the rest of the story. No joke, the ashes were inside a PINK TEDDY BEAR BAG and the bag was stolen along with thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Courtney had this to mumble,

“I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal. If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do.”
The sad news will sicken the millions of Cobain and Nirvana fans worldwide.

Please note, we are not mocking or disrespecting Curt in any way shape or form. He already did that to himself when he married Public Crack Whore Number One, Courtney Love. But on a serious note, if Courtney does not get back the cremated remains of a man who did so much for his country, she might kill herself. So if you have these ashes, please do us all a favor and dump them all over Seattle from the top of the Space Needle.

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