Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
On the set of her new movie My Career is Over: First Blood Labor Pains yesterday, Lohan demonstrated why women should never swing bats–it just looks funny. Apparently, the integrity of this film is stout seeing as they actually let Lindsay wear her own leggings for the role. I can only imagine the costume department is actually one washed up old bag they keep locked in a porta potty. The crew brings her out and points to people to which they either get a thumbs up or down approval from Gretta. They’d get rid of her but she’s part of a union and people generally like the scent of moldy cookies that she emits.

As for Lo-Dog we can only hope that we see a real upshirt from her in the movie because why the F#ck else would anyone ever watch her pretend to play a sport. As if Herbie Fully Loaded wasn’t bad enough. Watching Lohan play baseball would be like watching a hemorrhoid grow.

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“I’m gonna blow this mothufucka up if I don’t get my muthafuckin change!”

(headphones recommended if at work)

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
This is a public service announcement to spray tanners: Don’t do that. Tila tequila, doing nothing important here, looks like a lacquered oompa loompa. This chick already makes me queezie with her overbite and Michael Buffer voice. Top it off with 2-coats of Dutch Boy Orange Zest, this reality star may be sitting between the bearded lady and the crab man on a traveling freak show before she knows it. I crown Tila Tequila queen of New Jersey Douchebags! Congratulations Tila!!! Make sure to check out the pics below of Tila’s douchebag posse.

Side Note (just so you can say you learn something new every day):
Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen is Tila’s birth name.. but her stage name is Tila. The ‘Tequila’ nickname originates from a near fatal drinking experience. Ironically, Tila is allergic to alcohol. Round of shots on me!

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Gemma Atkinson derobes at the beach (DoubleViking)
Kirsten Bell is hooking up with Dax effing Shepard (Pink)
Meet the least popular muppet ever (Asylum)
Taco Bell offers 50 Cent a name change (Stab)
Kid Rock’s quote of the day doesn’t disappoint (BedHead)
Jamie-Lynn Spears’ babydaddy lays pipe. Explanation…(On205th)

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I’m moving to Russia.

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