Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
True story, sharks must be able to smell Care-Bear bubble baths because one latched right on to Ryan Seacrest’s leg while he was vacationing in Mexico. However, it must have been a we-wittle baby shark because Seacrest didn’t even realize he was bitten by a shark until he spotted a tooth lodged in his leg later on. According to page six,

He didn’t know what it was for a minute – he thought it was a stick,” said one spy. “He had no time to be scared. He saw it swim away, he got out, took aspirin and called it a day.

This is all true except for the part where Seacrest realized he had been bitten by a shark. He let out a high pitched scream so loud it caused a massive earthquake out here in the states. I should know, I was there. Only Seacrest’s vaginal trachea has the power to pull that off.