Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
Please sit. Lindsey Lohan is supposedly getting married to a little boy, Sam Rosen under the new same-sex marriage law in California. I can see the future True Hollywood Story of Lohan and it will go a little something like this:

Shortly after Lindsey’s acting career dried up, she suffered from a severe case of ‘WFT’. Doctors have only seen rare cases of ‘WTF’ with Britney Spears, Jesse ‘the body’ Ventura, Gary Busey, and Ren & Stimpy. Lohan was delusional. She posed nude for The New Yorker for free when she was dead broke. Further down the spiral, she tried to marry 12 year old boy, Samantha Rosen. As fate would have it, just before the farce ceremony, Lindsay was put out of her misery by the federal government for taking up too much press in an election year. She was a candle in the kiln.