Derober

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John:
Kate Bosworth and her boyfriend James Rousseau spent the day at the beach yesterday. Now call me traditional but aren’t you supposed to wear a bathing suit to the beach? Jeans and a flannel ‘eh there tough guy? That’s important so you can fit in with the crowd in case a spontaneous trucker’s convention breaks out in Malibu. One can never be too safe I always say…

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Darby Gunpowder:
I’m obviously not a golfer, but if I had to guess, Lindsey Lohan is not wearing a brazier underneath that top. I wonder if Sam(antha) talked her into burning all her under-naughties out of jealousy that Lindsey is a real life woman, while Sam is a real life 12 year old boy. This is the only good thing to come out of their relationship…now if only Sam can talk Lindsey into getting a tan and making a sex tape with Rachel Bilson and Blake Lively. Scissor me timbers!

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
It’s not every day that I do posts of a positive nature. But it’s not every day that the world loses two legends the likes of comedian Bernie Mac and singer Isaac Hayes. Mac, 5o, apparently died of complications of pneumonia coupled with an inflammatory lung disease Bernie had known as sarcoidosis. The details of Soulful singer Hayes’ death are less well known. The 65 year old collapsed next to his treadmill and was pronounced dead at the Baptist East Hospital in Memphis an hour later. Needless to say the world of entertainment was dealt two terrible and tragic blows over the weekend. They will be missed.

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John:
Jenna Jameson appeared in the latest Peta propaganda. Americans have what I like to call a ‘role model crisis.’ I remember when it was Bob Barker telling me to de-nut my animal. Times have changed my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jenna and I celebrate her entire collection but I don’t think she should be giving what I call ‘advice.’ This is a girl who once got triple-teamed in a truck stop bathroom in Barstow. If that is a stepping stone to the big-time then it looks like I’m off to Tumbleweeds Saloon and Truck Stop for a very interesting evening.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Speedo has been the proud outfitter of the US Olympic teams since 776 BC. That may or may not be true. But we do know that advances in swimsuit technology have enabled the US to dominate the Olympics for years.
You may be asking yourself why on God’s good green earth would Derober give 2 shits…the answer is: boobs. Playboy and Speedo have come up with the brilliant idea to use Playboy models to showcase Speedo’s old suits from the past 20 years up to today’s LZR Racer swimsuit -which is rumored to weigh less than one nano-once and is actually nonexistent which allows swimmers to move through the water as if they were naked at motorboating speeds. We have not figured out why the suit is actually visible to the human eye, when in fact it doesn’t exist in realm of earthly atomic matter.
That’s not the point, Derober has dugg up all the Speedo prototype swimsuits over the years which did not make the cut. Roll your mouse over the lovely lady to reveal the Speedo REJECTS!

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Seoul 1988

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Barcelona 1992

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Atlanta 1996

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Sydney 2000

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Athens 2004

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(body paint comes off in water…we don’t see the problem here)

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Beijing 2008

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For more sexy Speedo pics, visit Playboy.com

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