Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
There are a few constants in my life. My need for gratuitous shotgun blasts. My hatred of douchebags getting laid…period. And my love of tits. Specifically, side boobs in this case. Audrina Partridge has done to me what General Patton did to Rommel’s tank army. She read my book. Seriously, if I were to give a play-by-play book on how to stay on my good-side, then excluding the use of shotguns and or providing an endless stream of cotton candy Audrina is perfect. She completes me. She sets my loans on fire. And anyone who knows me well knows that’s a privilege. An honor fit for the god’s, so to speak.

Comment (1)

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John:
Audrina Partridge is at the Standard in downtown LA. It appears that she was the only girl invited. I’ve never seen so many douchebags in one place since my Uncle Vinnie’s wedding at Medieval Times. Also, you gotta click on Aurdrina when she’s on that douchebags back. Her tits look like they might pop. It’s like a beacon of hope in a dark, dark world.

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Kim Kardashian as boxer in new EA videogame! (agentbedhead)
Sabrina Ravelli is international sex goddess (doubleviking)
Pamela Anderson throws out first pitch. Accompanied with boobs (bustedcoverage)
Lily Allen breast slip–hehe (dirtyrotten)
Who wants some sweet Pineapple Express (Asylum)
Gemma Atkinson 2009 Calander preview–good Lord (on205th)
How freakin’ good was the original dream team. Just watch (uncoached)
Heidi Klum topless on a boat–I’m in (flatusyahu)
German Maxim magazine has HOT girls too (donchavez)
Fantasy Female draft–brilliant (bannedinhollywood)
Kangaroos boxing, sure why not (blogofhilarity)

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I guess you could say I countered Kim’s staged and photoshopped photos with my own brand of photoshopped photos. The results are…unstable. A few titles I’ve considered for this post:
The Abominable Kardashian
Kim: A deconstruction of the unnecessarily famous female form
Lady lumps from hell
The love child of God and a goat
Hey Kim, Rwanda called, they want their Happy Meal back
Just Jam your fingers into your eye sockets now
When dinosaurs ruled the earth Kim ate them
At least your tits are redeemable
Flapjacks with a side of hose-hounds
I think I saw one of Kim’s ass cheeks try to eat the other one
Beached whale makes headlines after porn tape with sea otter surfaces
Kim is to toned what Clay Aiken is to straight
What did you do with the other beach goers Kim, what did you do??

Comments (2)

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John:
Cindy Crawford has still got it folks. I’d like to say she’s over the hill but I’ve seen 17 18 year old hotties that couldn’t hold Cindy Crawford’s jock strap. Topless Cindy and her husband Rande Gerber are on vacation with George Clooney in France. That sentence just sounded amazing. Can the Derober court stenographer please read that back to me?

Topless Cindy and her husband Rande Gerber are on vacation with George Clooney in France.

Nice.

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