Derober

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John:
Kim Kardashian took her milk puppies shopping yesterday. This girl is basically a walking adult amusement park. Not pictured: Ass Moonwalk and Gravity Thighs.

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John:
Kate Moss is on vacation on some rich dudes yacht and she’s holding her own ship together with duct tape. Kate reminds me of that girl in high school who you could never bang because she was too busy bangin’ that dude with all the chains.  I wouldn’t even hit this anymore if it were not for the fact that she’s still hot and rich and a supermodel. You’re barely passing my sniff test, Kate. Barely.

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Darby Gunpowder:
In not-cool-news, Christina Applegate has been diagnosed with breast cancer, according to her publicist. E! Online reports:

“Benefiting from early detection through a doctor-ordered MRI, the cancer is not life threatening,” publicist Ame Van Iden said. “Christina is following the recommended treatment of her doctors and will have a full recovery. No further statement will be issued at this time.”
Applegate’s rep also tells E! News that the 36-year-old Emmy nominee will maintain her regular shooting schedule on Samantha Who? while undergoing treatment.

Christina’s mother, actress Nancy Priddy, is a breast cancer survivor. Derober wishes Christina a speedy recovery and she is in our prayers and dreams.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
What you can’t see from these pictures is that Kim Kardashian is actually inhaling her food now. It’s hard to spot it but if you ever walk into a bathroom that Kim just walked out of you can actually see the lines of food on the counters. Sometimes cut, sometimes not. You name the food odds are Kardashian has inhaled it. Burgers, cakes, calamari, Big League Chew, 6 foot subs–ANYTHING. Oh, and don’t let that scarf fool you, she’s also being fed chili dogs and mint chocolate chip Oreos intravenously through a tube. Now kids, unless you’re trying to build a space station out of your ass like Kim I would strongly advise against this kind of calorie intake. Just not prudent.

Now here’s video footage of Kim Kardashian eating BEFORE she mastered the art of inhaling food.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Listen, I only had time for one post today and it would be unfair NOT to include each of these two beautimous babes. Audrina Partridge and Neri..Nare….the chick who was banging Cristiano Ronaldo a few months back; we’ll call her Sally for simplicity’s sake. Anyways, Audrina and Sally’s rocking tits have been a constant source of inspiration in my life. Kind of like Adrian was to Rocky, or rocks are to a crack-head. And in my darkest hour when I question the very meaning of life a beam of white light bursts out of the blackness. All I can make out though the blinding glow are these two sets of heavenly tits. And suddenly my purpose in life becomes very clear–I must run for president.

Vote ‘The Bitch’ in 2020. If you like atomic breasts then I am your man.

BTW–Sally’s real name is Nereida Gallardo, just in case you need her help.

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