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Darby Gunpowder:
Ryan Gossling and Rachel McAdams are back in line for the boner roller coaster. Effing awesome. The real-life Notebook characters were seen at a Toronto coffee shop engaged in pastry fore-play. I have a theory that these two have a deep hatred for each other. I have zero evidence to back this up, only wishful thinking. I love you Rachel! Please lift the restraining order - I promise to respect your personal space this time! I haven’t been anywhere near a pogo stick in 2 years!

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Photo Credit: Buzznet

John:
Tila Tequila and fake girlfriend Courtenay Semen Semel went to the pool and called ahead to make sure the paparazzi caught every one of the Faking McFakersons faking a lesbian romance. If Tila ever actually had to choose between a dude or a chick, she’d reach for the Cheetos…and then choose the dude. She’s become such a media whore she can’t even remember her real name - true story, I asked her and she just threw up on my shoe.

Ever wonder how Tila Tequila (real name Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen) actually got famous? Click here to find out.

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John:
Let’s face it, Vanessa Hudgens is a gravy train with biscuit wheels. Any girl who poses nude in her teens to try to grab the attention of some old dude should be awarded the Silver Staff of Aethelwine. And by ‘Silver Staff of Aethelwine’ I mean ‘my penis.’ God I love this chick. You could invite her to a no-pants party and she’d be the first arrival… 2 days early.

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Darby Gunpowder:
When I was reading my horoscope today, it said: Megan Fox will have a topless lesbian scene in her new movie, ‘Jennifer’s Body’ with Mama Mia star Amanda Seyfried. I was elated considering the last time I read my horoscope a year ago it said that the itching would never stop -and it hasn’t!…Um, yeah. There was a point in there somewhere. According the popoholic.com,

The ‘Transformers’ actress romps topless in bed with ‘Mamma Mia’ star Amanda Seyfried in zombie film ‘Jennifer’s Body’.

A source said: “The two girls make out hardcore, rolling around in a bed. It was a really hot scene.”
In ‘Jennifer’s Body’, Megan plays a possessed cheerleader who goes on a killing spree murdering her male classmates.

Megan recently hinted she would be sharing a passionate smooch with her co-star Amanda, revealing: “I eat and seduce everyone. There’s a lot of kissing everyone – boys and girls. All kinds of craziness.”

Update: horoscopes are for puffs.

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John:
Lindsay Lohan recently got rid of everything she owns except for her nipples and black tank tops. Fine with us. Lindsays carreer isn’t going anywhere so you might as well fall back on the one thing that you still have going for you, your hose-hounds. Rihanna on the other hand just had a little wardrobe malfunction. She has since covered the kittens but these photos will live forever. Forever!

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