Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Now few know this about me but despite my general loathing of the world, coupled with my passion for gratuitous explosions, I’m actually a sucker for a beautiful shotgun wedding. I don’t really understand it myself but I think it’s similar to the feeling the wicked witch of the west had for those little monkeys sporting top hats. I mean there just so damn cute, how can you hate? Anyways, over the weekend Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds wed in a private ceremony in Canada. The People reports

Attended by only a handful of close friends and family, the ceremony was held at a remote wilderness retreat outside of Vancouver, B.C.
This is the first marriage for both. The couple had announced their engagement in May.

I am sorry I need a moment here…I promised myself..I wouldn’t..cryyy. Ahhh, DAMN THOSE ADORABLE MONKEYS! Damn them to hell. In the words of Socrates, “I want to know what love is…and I want those top-hat wearing monkeys to show me.” Words seared into my soul, indeed.